My pain is out of control

My pain is out of control

Postby GodsStudent on Sat Sep 14, 2013 8:12 pm

Please pray that the Lord will pull me back from the brink of madness. I cannot get my pain under control and haven't been able to since my daughter went to the hospital. It started then, when I all of a sudden didn't get my medication while at the hospital. From there, I came off one of my important meds, unexpected, and it's a CNS drug, so that has had all sorts of ramifications. I am angry again. I am angry at my husband and my daughter and just shut down, because I know the anger is because my pain is out of control, but I can't maintain happy for more than a forced second, so I am shut down and stewing on the inside. On the outside, I am in so much pain that at times it makes me feel nearly insane. This has been going on for a few weeks, and of course, as I said earlier, we started moving last week....I am so overwhelmed with this. I saw my pain mgt. doctor last Thursday and he was in shock at my state and very upset. My blood pressure was off the charts from the pain and he tried to get me started on another med that could work faster than the one I unexpectedly came off of, so we could get the pain under control....well, it made my head feel like it was in a vice grip, so I can't take it. He followed me down the hall after seeing me and insisted we do breathing exercises right there in the middle of the hall (lol, it was really kind of funny, but I also know it was quite serious, because my BP is reacting to the pain in dangerous ways). I tried today to restart the CNS drug I abruptly came off of when my daughter was in the hospital by splitting a pill in half (it's not perforated), and ended up getting violently sick....so I guess I will go to the doctor again Monday and request titer packs to try to get that going, but it will be a few weeks until it's in my system.....I see my pain mgt. doc again in two weeks, but I hope to be already building the CNS blocker med up in my system by the time I see him, and much calmer. Please pray for me as I am beating myself up for being so angry, yet I am just trying to cope with being in my skin at this time...and this is not something I would wish on anyone.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Sunny on Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:23 pm

GS, I will pray for you right now. I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby LONGINGFORHOME on Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:42 pm

:praying: for you sis, I hope the docs can help you to relieve the pain soon.
Deuteronomy 4:30-31
When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the LORD thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; (For the LORD thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee, neither destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers which he sware unto them.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby burien1 on Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:18 am

:praying: :comfort:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Loop on Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:23 am

Praying :hugs:
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1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Abiding in His Word on Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:33 am

:praying:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Sep 15, 2013 8:21 am

I appreciate the prayers. I was going to come back this morning and delete my post as it's so honest, it's almost too honest. :redface: The sacral nerve and cauda equina damage that resulted from last year's spine injury is the cause of the pain. I have permanent nerve damage to some motor and some sensory nerves (but I am very blessed that all of the auto nerves are ok) and anyway, on a regular day, the CNS drugs suppress the signals my spine and brain are sending, problem is, they are very hard on the system and take a long time to build up and then if you come off of them, you're supposed to do it over a long period of time. When my daughter went to the hospital, I didn't have them the first two days, and even after that, I didn't really keep up with it....there was so much going on that week....doctors in and out all hours....it just got crazy. Then, when I came home, we went straight into building inspectors and it's time to move....and I did not actually realize how much these CNS meds had been doing. I have the pain meds, but they can't keep up with all the nerve stuff coming out of my spine. I really need these CNS meds. At least this experience has shown me how much easier it is for me with those CNS meds, so I will make it much more a priority to ensure I keep up with that in the future.

The problem with chronic pain is you can't get away from it, you can't set it down when it's overwhelmed you....and so being "at peace" is something you have to work for, because it really takes concentrating past the pain (and a whole lot of prayer!). Last night after I posted, I cried for a while, came to acceptance again, and then I laid very still until some of the pain subsided, so that I could calm down and relax (with the pain) for a while.

I'm posting this because I really must sound crazy to someone whose legs and arms aren't lit up like a circuit board. In the absence of feeling something like this, it would be hard to understand why it makes someone feel crazy (in pain).

I very much appreciate the prayers and my greatest concern is actually how I am going to endure through this....the pain is what it is, but I have got to get my emotions and reactionary anger under control....noone wants to have to put up with a cranky, whiny GodsStudent! :mrgreen:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Abiding in His Word on Sun Sep 15, 2013 9:25 am

GodsStudent, I wish I could just make your pain disappear. :comfort:

I'm glad you didn't get to delete your post though, because if we are all honest, there are times when each of us wants someone to comfort us in our grief, pain, and struggles. So I'm happy that you felt comfortable allowing us to share your pain and hopefully you know how much we care about you.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Jericho on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:01 am

GS, sorry to hear your going through this. I can't imagine what that must be like. I have said a prayer for you and will continue to do so. Hang in there, this too shall pass.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Salty Skipper on Sun Sep 15, 2013 9:28 pm

I am so, so sorry that you are in such terrible pain. :praying:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby drdos on Mon Sep 16, 2013 7:00 am

Praying for you today. :hugs2:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Spreading Salt on Mon Sep 16, 2013 7:44 am

Dearest Yeshua,

Please hear our prayers for our sister and reduce her pain. May the drugs get inside and subdue every nerve ending. Strengthen her through this time and give her family and friends ample mercy as they love her through this as well. Please provide for her needs. Protect her mind from evil thoughts and protect her body from further health issues. Help her prioritize in the business of her day. It's a brand new day today. Let it be a good day for her please. Amen.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby drdos on Mon Sep 16, 2013 9:01 am

Spreading Salt wrote:Dearest Yeshua,

Please hear our prayers for our sister and reduce her pain. May the drugs get inside and subdue every nerve ending. Strengthen her through this time and give her family and friends ample mercy as they love her through this as well. Please provide for her needs. Protect her mind from evil thoughts and protect her body from further health issues. Help her prioritize in the business of her day. It's a brand new day today. Let it be a good day for her please. Amen.
:a3:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby JohnE on Mon Sep 16, 2013 6:10 pm

:a3: Trusting you are feeling much better sister. John 15:7,8 :a3:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Dusty on Tue Sep 17, 2013 5:08 am

Praying for you. I do know something of unrelenting pain but thankfully mine is mostly under control these days. :praying: :praying: :praying:
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Sunny on Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:21 am

GS, how are you doing now? Has the pain eased up?
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:45 am

Yes, most definitely, the pain level came down a good bit from the time I posted this request for prayer, and immediately the next day, subsiding a little at a time, all the way up to now. When I made the post, some places, the pain in my body was (1-10) at a strong 9. I literally had to lay down and breath for a solid hour just to get a grip on how dynamic it was. Had I not been under a pain mgt. contract, I probably would have gone to the ER that night, but knowing the terms of my contract, I felt it would have been more of a hassle than I was up to, given the state I was already in.

At this point, and I did not request the titer pack from my regular doctor for the CNS drugs (I struggle over this class of drugs due to the significant impacts they have on me...such as heart racing, sweating profusely...hair is always curled up, lol)...anyway....I am going real slow right now, with my own prayers, with the prayers of you all, and also with feedback I've gotten in PMs from a few of you, who aren't posting here, but who are sending me what I believe to be inspired of the Lord...words I am taking back to the Lord for further understanding, because until the Lord speaks to me, I just don't know what His Will is in this matter, and I do know I need to know that first.

Right now my pain is at a solid 7, or so. I am very achy all over (think severe flu symptoms), but that is typical after the strong and constant nerve ambushes....(think unrelenting tooth ache all over the body). This is with much less pain medication, which is saying a lot....so I know the Lord is answering our prayers, but I am not certain what to do about the matter from here, and so I am going to wait on the Lord to answer my questions.

Thank you for asking and thank you to all of you for the prayers. There is nothing quite like unrelenting and intense pain all over, and while I know why it is happening, I need to know what the Lord wants me to know about this and how I should proceed in light of it.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Sunny on Tue Sep 17, 2013 12:47 pm

Thanks for the update, GS.

I only have rare bouts of pain at that level, and they are easily treated. I can't imagine living with it.

I don't even know how to pray about it, but I am praying that the Holy Spirit will make intercession for you according to the will of God.
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Re: My pain is out of control

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:42 pm

Dearest Yeshua,

Please touch her body and temper this pain. Fresh strength and hope tonight. Thank You Lord.
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