My Mom has had a stroke

[burien1]

Please pray for Mom. She's had a stroke. No bleeding in brain , thank God, but her leg is numb and they have been putting her through tests all day. They have found a spot on her brain, so far.

[Abiding in His Word]

[SueAnn]

[4givenmuch]

Jesus, please heal her up wholly and completely and be glorified in all of this! Amen!

[Jericho]

[daffodyllady]

Oh my! burien, please know that we care and are holding you and your mom up in prayer.

[mark s]

Praying for you and her!

[LONGINGFORHOME]

Praying for both of you, I hope she will fully recover soon.

Patrick

[GodsStudent]

Brenda, I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your mom. Please let us know how she is (and how you are, too!).

[laney]

So sad to hear this Brenda. Prayers going up for your mom and you. Love to you both!

[GodsStudent]

[burien1]

Thank you everyone, for all the prayers. Mom is completely back to normal with her leg. She has a 70% blockage in her carotid artery , and for now, she'll be on plavix and aspirin until they test her again in 2 weeks.

She threw a fit yesterday wanting out, so they let her come home today. They were probably thinking good riddance with the fit she threw. I thank God so much for giving us a miracle, and that I won't have to live with her. I love her much better with a little bit of distance . She's a handful and I am completely worn out.

[Abiding in His Word]

Happy to hear (for both of your sakes) that she's home and doing better!

[GodsStudent]

distance makes the heart grow fonder.....I think we can all relate to this in some instance or another

[SueAnn]

[drdos]

Awesome News!

[Salty Skipper]

[daffodyllady]

Oh my... Brenda, my prayers are ascending on your behalf... and hers.
I do understand how after a stroke, the family caregivers can get worn to the bone.
Has her personality changed? Usually there is at least a small personality change, with a stroke. And that puts stress on the family, too.

[burien1]

I was wondering if it was my imagination, or not, about her temper. Usually around doctors and nurses , she is unusually docile. But NOT with us, her family.
She literally scared one doctor away with her tantrum about not being released. Then the next day, as they were asking the usual questions they have to ask every stroke patient, she had her head cocked in such a way, that only I would have recognized that she was within a hair of going off on them.
The day after she came home, She went with me to the pharmacy, because of a mix-up that was actually her fault. She was aggressive and ill tempered for no good reason. I woke up in the middle of the night Friday night, with the thought that there was a distinct personality change in her. And I wish with all my heart, it would have made her easier to get along with, not the opposite.

[Spreading Salt]

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for taking care of this family. Please give them peace in their hearts and help them to love each other through this fallen life. Strength for today Lord. Thank You for protecting Brenda's mother. May they not waste the time they have remaining here. Please grow their relationship with each other, but especially with You. Amen.

[Salty Skipper]

I was wondering if it was my imagination, or not, about her temper. Usually around doctors and nurses , she is unusually docile. But NOT with us, her family.
She literally scared one doctor away with her tantrum about not being released. Then the next day, as they were asking the usual questions they have to ask every stroke patient, she had her head cocked in such a way, that only I would have recognized that she was within a hair of going off on them.
The day after she came home, She went with me to the pharmacy, because of a mix-up that was actually her fault. She was aggressive and ill tempered for no good reason. I woke up in the middle of the night Friday night, with the thought that there was a distinct personality change in her. And I wish with all my heart, it would have made her easier to get along with, not the opposite.

This sort of thing happened with my dad too. It sort of seemed to go in stages. Sometimes it was worse than others. Over time, it seemed to get a little better. Prayers for you and I know that the Lord will help you all through this. With Dad, we just sort of had to go with the flow...

[daffodyllady]

I woke up in the middle of the night Friday night, with the thought that there was a distinct personality change in her. And I wish with all my heart, it would have made her easier to get along with, not the opposite.

It usually is not a positive personality change that happens, with a stroke.

May the Lord be your strength, patience, and wisdom!

ETA: Give yourself a little time, to learn how to interact with her. It is a new ballgame now, and new rules may apply. Be open to new ways of peacefully getting her to do what she needs to; try to avoid head-on disagreements. Some days, it is best to withdraw, rather than to insist on non-essentials. On those days, for the essentials, I try to approach things like bath-time very carefully...

For instance, my lady HATES bathing. But she needs a bath daily, no exceptions! If she resists, I allow her to wait until she takes a morning nap, so she feels a little stronger. Then I tell her that I know she isn't really up to a whole bath on this particular day, so I won't do everything. But I know there are places on her that the skin may need doctoring, so I need to go over her carefully, to make sure her skin isn't breaking down... That way, she feels like I am on her side. I'll wash everything except her lower extremities, and tell her that I am not going to do any more, because I think she is plumb give out already. Later in the day, I may come back and wash her feet, talking about old-time feet-washing at church. She loves it.

Key: psychological manipulation. I know, it doesn't seem right. But you have to do what you have to do. Basically, some days, you have a spoiled kid on your hands, ready to bite and kick, but you have to honor and love. No spankings anymore, no matter how much they deserve it. So you use the weapons you can: your brains and your heart. It's not like you are doing anything to actually work against her-- you have to guile-fully manipulate her into wanting to do what she ought to do. It takes patience and wisdom.

[burien1]

Thanks Daffodyllady. There is no doubt in my mind that the Lord will use this to grow my patience. She argued with me today, that she has been going to a doctor in the last year that checked her neck out only because some doc I had never heard of sent her. She informed me I was crazy for thinking I had been taking her to have her neck checked for the last 15 years. Thank God she writes every appointment and procedure down. Her jaw just about hit the floor when she saw that I was right. She was told years ago that they would have to watch that artery. I'm the one that always took her, up until last year when my sister started taking her, too. She treated me like I was an absolute fool who had lost her mind. It was so frustrating and sad.

[daffodyllady]

The roles have changed: she used to be the authority, and you the child. This is just as hard on her as it is on you. If you are as meek as possible, while letting her have her way whenever it really will make no difference, it will go easier.

I know it is hard. My mom is turning 87 next month! She has become a funny childlike nymph of what she used to be. I went to see her at my sister's house this evening. There she sits and rocks, gumming down her graham crackers, and chortling gleefully. *sigh* ...I wonder what I will be like at that age, if the Lord tarries, and if He wills me to live that long?

[burien1]

At least your Mom sounds happy.

[GodsStudent]

Brenda.... my grandmother and grandfather have changed a lot in the past several years. He has dementia and she, alzheimers. It is difficult, because you never know who you're talking to with either of them, they both have changed so much. My husbands grandmother also has Alzheimer's and she has become violent...and it's usually sudden, unexpected, and she goes full fist at people. she has actually really hurt a few family members. I tend to be able to calm her while her children are always trying to reason with her, which agitates her even more. What I do is sort of commiserate with whatever is annoying her. At Christmas, my daughter was getting a fork to eat with, and she felt as though my child was wanting to play in the kitchen which is strictly prohibited. Her children try to show her where she is being unreasonable and I have the general discussion with her about how children do get unruly, blah,blah, blah. It calms her down immediately and three minutes later, she doesn't even remember the conversation ever took place. Of course, our daughter understands she is not quite in her right mind and we all know she wasn't doing anything wrong, at all.

I guess I just feel that reasoning with the unreasonable is futile as they just can't reason. Try to follow her train of thought and diffuse the unreasonable emotion so that the atmosphere can be peaceful....for our family, it's been the easiest way to keep things flowing smoothly.....wow...grandma Louise has a seriously mean right hook!

[burien1]

I've shown her great patience this week. Unfortunately, every battle has been over her medical care. My sister told me yesterday that I did a great job handling her. But with the emotional stress it put on me, I just needed to vent.

Thank you everyone for the prayers !!!

[daffodyllady]

Good for you, Brenda! God is helping you. Hold on to that.

Actually, my mom is happy as long as she gets her own way. lol
Today, my sis was almost in tears over the struggle to keep Mom from eating what sends her sugar sky-high... she will sneak stuff that is absolutely off-limits, and she gets that determined glint in her eyes when she wants what she wants. Oh my.

I hope things even out soon for you and your mom.

[burien1]

Thanks Daffodyllady . Mom informed me today, that she will NOT give up salt or anything else she loves. She intends to "enjoy her life, or what's the point ?"

I will gladly take all future battles, just to still have her. And I can tell you feel the same way.