Modern techy concerns

[Spreading Salt]

Good morning FP family. Boy, am I the bad guy in my house today. In a nutshell, dad wants cell phone access for my 13 yr old and I don't. I think it opens the door for more bad influence and I just want to protect my family. The commute this morning was not good and there is much frustration on my part and my daughters.

I cried out to Him after dropping her off and He has tweaked my thoughts already. There is nothing like being a parent to bring home some thoughts about how the Lord must feel towards us. He put on my heart today that He has our ultimate good in mind, but that when we go through life, we don't always think our experiences are good. We tend to question His motives for us and it can be a challenge of our trust in Him. Similarly with my daughter, she can only see that she is being deprived and it makes her question my motives. I know that I have plans for good but she can't understand it. It also doesn't help that her dad is all for it and he doesn't have the same concerns that I do.

Now I am questioning how to go about resolving this touchy issue in our home. As much as I would love to seclude my loved ones in a bubble of ultimate protection, I know that is unreasonable. So there must be a balance of protection/leniency, without compromise of morals and such, while still safe-guarding what we care for and love. I'm sure we'll end up with cell phone access, yet we need to establish and work out some serious boundaries so that we do this the best way possible. As we sort this out, much prayer would be appreciated.

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for this insight You have already provided for me today. Help me to stand firm where necessary and also be lenient where I need to be. Guide our steps as we sort out boundaries and agreements with how things will work out with cell phone usage in our home. Above all, please protect my family Lord and shield us from evil. Touch our hearts towards each other Lord and protect us from bitterness and frustration. Thank You.

[Jericho]

Hello SS, may I ask what concerns you have? A suggestion, a basic pay as you go cell phone.. that way you can limit how much they can talk.

[Spreading Salt]

To give a little more insight, we don't have a land line, just cell phone for mom/dad. He needed a new phone and when he came home, he brought one for "the house" with all the bells and whistles, to include unlimited texting, internet, etc. Sooooo, since we now have this additional phone, let her take it with her. blah blah blah. Hence, my concern and now being the bad guy saying no.

[4givenmuch]

If it is an iphone, you can get bsecure for free for your phone. It filters the internet :0 Just goodle bsecure. It might even work on other phones ?

[GodsStudent]

Hi, my dear sister. First...

My daughter, 11, has a cell phone. We also have a land line. She does talk on the phone, but we don't have a lot of young ladies in our neighborhood, none her age, and so, sometimes, it's a good outlet for her to be able to call on a friend to chat with. In our house, she prefers the land line as she can rest it on her shoulder. It's more comfortable.

When I talk on my cell phone for any period of time, I always get a headache, so I am not a big fan of "hanging on the phone" on the cell phones, but I have found them to be quite handy when I am out.

As to my daughter, she is required to take her cell phone with her to school and when she goes to walk the dogs, or whenever she goes out on her bike, etc. In this day and age, I am most concerned that she have that thing with her in the event something goes on and I need to give her instructions, or whatever. Also, when she is out in my neighborhood, I am not comfortable if I can't call her right away. Alternately, she has called me from the phone to tell me she is changing the plan we made before she left our house. I just feel better when she has it on her person.

My daughter's phone is more for my convenience than hers. Alternately, she has our home phone to call friends on. As a matter of fact, just last Friday I was fussing at my daughter about not carrying her phone to school.

[laney]

Praying it all works out for the good sis.

[Spreading Salt]

Thanks for the prayers everyone. I know this is so very minor to many and to the seriously troubling issues around our globe, but your coming alongside me has been great.

Dearest Yeshua,
Thank You for guiding us with how to tackle cell phones and service plans in our family. Please continue to protect us from evil, whether it comes through the air waves, cell phone, or computer. Amen.

[bchandler]

IMO, you should take the smart phone... if he wants her to have a phone, no text, no internet, and should only be able to call or receive calls from parents and cops. So a really cheap phone will do the trick.

My kids had phones when they were young... but i got copied on their text logs... and i told them flat out that the first time i saw something inappropriate i would turn all features off, and they would only be able to call us. Their open access lasted about 3 weeks... lol. The didn't get features turned back on until they could pay for it themselves.

[extravagantchristian]

SPreading Salt, I feel the same way you do, and I am ALWAYS the bad guy around my house. I try not to let it get to me, and try to stick to my guns. I always remind myself of that verse "train a child up in the way he SHOULD go, and when he is older he will return to it" My oldest is 8, but we've already had some battles over friends/tv/music/internet. I know I am very strict when it comes to things like this, and I want my kids to like me, but I want them to go to heaven more. My daughter even asked me one time, she said, (in a sad voice) "mom, will it be worth it someday, all the fun things we missed out on" So they're learning now that this life we are living is about Denying ourselves, picking up our cross, and following Jesus. Sure they will probably rebel, but at least they will be able to look back on when they lived life righteously, and know that it is possible to live right and still be fulfilled. I grew up in a heathen home and I put off getting saved for years because I just couldnt picture myself living any other way. I thought it would be way to hard.

If I were you, I would allow the kids to have a phone ONLY if it didnt have texting or internet. There are several problems with texting. 1. there's a new thing kids are doing now called "sexting" need I say more? 2. if you let them text now, you can't change your mind when they start driving and you would never forgive yourself if they got in an accident texting while driving. they might say they would never do it, but when teens get together they're much more likely to do what their friends are doing. 3. i think it just opens your kid up to more opportunities for the devil to weasel his way in. think boys with hormones, how much eaiser is it for them to flirt with her over a text than in person.

lol I hope I didn't make you feel worse. Just know that you're not alone, and stick to what you know is right. You won't regret it.