God's Love

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God's Love

Postby mark s on Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:41 am

I recently went through some health issues, which included infection, inability to eat, inability to digest, much bed rest, which triggered muscle spasms and nerve pain.

One night, I was laying on my bed, I had gone from 175lbs to 153lbs in a little over two weeks. I felt wasted away, the pain in my back was intense, I had no idea how I was going to sleep. My metabolism was all over the map, I didn't know if I would wake up in the morning. This was not the first time in the past few months I didn't know if I would live or die.

I would give much to return to that night, because I was so filled with the sense of God's love. I was laying in my bed, wracked with pain, to live? to die? basking in God's love as never before!

This is not what this post is about. I just want to give a context.

After Hawkes had made a prayer, pouring out his soul unto God, the flames were kindled around him, and soon blazed with such fierceness that his speech could not be heart by the flame’s intensity. As the fire burned a long time, his skin was drawn together, and his fingers were consumed, and having not moved, the people thought him dead. Suddenly and contrary to all expectation, Thomas, mindful of the promise he had made to his friends, raised his hands still burning with flames high above his head, and, as if in an ecstasy of joy, clapped them together three times.

A great shout followed this wonderful circumstance, and then this blessed martyr of Christ, sinking down into the fire, gave up his spirit

Read More . . .


Thomas Hawke was one of the early reformation martyrs. He had promised his congregation to give a sign of God's Grace.

It occurred to me this morning that what I felt that night may have been akin to God's grace to see Thomas through.

This outpouring of love was such that it was so much greater than the pain, I would gladly endure that pain again to experience and receive such a knowledge of His love.

Then I thought about Jesus.

He went His entire life with the fullness of God's power in Him, upholding Him through all of His struggles in life. And we know from Hebrews that He went through the full range of human experience.

Until . . .

When He was in His greatest need . . . most desperate straights . . . brutalized and dying . . . "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me??" Left me to this pain! Left me to this horror of sin! Left me alone! Never had He been alone! Never.

I don't know what God is doing with me. I know He's doing some major work. I feel like this has been the heavy lifting. I don't know His plans for what is to come. Maybe I'll follow the other martyrs, somehow. Or not. Who knows?

But I know this. These past months have been such a struggle. So much pain. So much fear. And that's with God's hand helping me through, and the fact is, I could go on quite a bit about how He's been doing that. I wouldn't trade it for the world! The greatest horror in my life right now, to me, would be to return to how I was at the beginning of the year. I am so thankful for every pain, every tossing and turning, all of it.

Jesus, without that help, wouldn't trade the cross for . . . me. I'm so glad to be with God! But He's so glad to be with me! Me!

Oh how He loves us!!

In Christ,
Mark
ειπεν αυτη ο ιησους εγω ειμι η αναστασις και η ζωη ο πιστευων εις εμε καν αποθανη ζησεται
. . . saying to her Jesus, I AM the resurrection and the life, the one believing into Me even dying shall live . . .
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Re: God's Love

Postby keithareilly on Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:21 pm

Blessed you are.
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Re: God's Love

Postby Abiding in His Word on Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:21 pm

Mark, I'm so sorry for the pain, discomfort, and fear you are experiencing. I know you well enough from this discussion board to feel confident that through this valley, you will hold fast to your faith knowing the love God has for you. It's difficult when we don't fully understand the trials and struggles of life, so sometimes the only thing we can be certain of is His love.

You will be in my prayers as you journey through this difficult time. Know that many here love you and will likewise be in prayer for you.

:comfort:
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Re: God's Love

Postby Jericho on Wed Aug 30, 2017 4:48 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles Mark. I will remember you in my prayers.
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Re: God's Love

Postby Exit40 on Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:47 am

mark s wrote:
Jesus, without that help, wouldn't trade the cross for . . . me. I'm so glad to be with God! But He's so glad to be with me! Me!

Oh how He loves us!!

In Christ,
Mark


That was me for about 8 years, worst part was the last three that ended about a year ago. I'm as tough as Superman's kneecap, but I was finally broken, hoping for death, but wanting to die as a martyr, serving Him. Nothing else would do, so I hung in, and prayed my heart out. Then about a year ago, I went through an event, and felt an incomprehensible Peace only The Lord can give. Everything of the the worldly cares disappeared. Everything ! Just for a few lasting moments. As I had given up on everything but my Faith, He took them from me, to show my nothing is His everything, for me. I would not, nay, even could not, lose my Faith, which seemed even stronger then, my heart wouldn't let me. As days went by I prayed for that Peace daily, a Martyr's Prayer of, How long Oh Lord ! And I realize it will come, in the Lord's timing. So I try live my life out as He wants me to, I know He will come in my lifetime, maybe with my last breath even. 'How long' has become, I'm ready, Come Lord Jesus. Every day I know this, through the ups and downs of what has become of my life. So while I am not joyful every day for my trials, I know they one day will end. In the near future maybe not as I would like, but I will try to go as joyfully as possible, to where He wants me to be. I want to serve, and die a martyr's death. Then I will be with the Lord, right under His feet in the realm of Heaven, beneath His Throne. Right where He can see me, and me Him. How glorious that will be !!! And why ? Because

Oh how He loves us!!


We are soo Loved !

Thanks for this post Mark. It serves as a reminder to me, of all I have been through. And all I want to do for the Lord. Even if it is just Loving Him with all my heart, right up to my death. Maybe especially then. I pray for us all to experience the Love of our Lord in our lives to the greatest extent possible. And that we do His Will, while here on earth.

God Bless You

David

PS. Read Psalm 22. Jesus was probably quoting that from the Cross.
Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
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Re: God's Love

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Aug 31, 2017 12:37 pm

Mark: I have been living what you posted here. Like you, there is a profound blessing that comes when we are at the end of ourselves and compelled to turn wholly to the Lord. Experiencing His love is so powerful that once it happens, you only want to continue to experience it. It has been my truest trials that have given me the greatest blessings, which is experiencing the LIVING GOD in live and true time. I have suffered, but I have been blessed by His Presence and I wouldn't take away any of the bad, for in doing so, I would not have the good that has come out of this journey.
I will be praying for you.
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Re: God's Love

Postby mark s on Thu Aug 31, 2017 3:55 pm

Thank you for your prayers and encouragements!

I've come to learn that the pain and difficulty, today, right now, If I have asked God to remove it, and He doesn't, it is only because He knows that is better for me.

I've made a little sign for my desk: ( =/= . . . "not equal to")

Helpless =/= hopeless
Fear =/= Danger
Perception =/= Reality

Jesus is my Hope
Jesus is my Savior
Jesus is Reality.

fwiw.

Love in Christ,
Mark
ειπεν αυτη ο ιησους εγω ειμι η αναστασις και η ζωη ο πιστευων εις εμε καν αποθανη ζησεται
. . . saying to her Jesus, I AM the resurrection and the life, the one believing into Me even dying shall live . . .
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Re: God's Love

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:50 am

I like that....think I'll post it on my desk, too! :wink:
My preacher doctor told me to read a book called "When bad things happen to good people" by Harold Kushner. Its a very logically presented book (not as much of a story book) so not completely easy to listen to or read, but it certainly is profound in the subject......

For me.....God has showed me so much love in my life, and particularly He has been RIGHT HERE with me in the last year, when I have constantly prayed for Him to take my life and circumstances......and no, He hasn't, at all, removed my pain, but He has showed me a few things about it......like I am having total knee replacement soon (waiting to see doc, and dont until October). My knee is so torn up inside that I saw a surgeon who fixes knees and he said mine is so bad that it would be better to replace it. Well.....learning that is God (was a series of things that got me to the doc and to the facts about my knee)....so when I and others prayed for healing, instead the Lord showed me an element to what causes me so much pain....and He has provided surgeons to fix that.....it will be a process, but through that process, I will be getting better and better.....never out of pain, since I have RSD aka CRPS......and it started in my spine and is in all 4 limbs.....which is a hugely sad diagnosis......but I have been getting my needs met....not my wants always....but my needs, absolutely.....
and I would rather have the Lord every day in my life than all the things I want to make me comfortable and satisfied (in the way I think of comfort and satisfaction).
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Re: God's Love

Postby mark s on Fri Sep 01, 2017 11:44 am

I've been beginning to understand God's strength in my weakness. I've told God, even pleaded with Him, that I would pay any price to maintain this intimacy with Him. Maybe the pain, and the difficulty finding a way to live so that my health is stabilized, maybe that's the price. I feel certain this has been part of the price to get me this far. Now I want to make it all the way home, finish my race, keeping the faith.

I want to be one of those men in my church, we know who they are, who serve so selflessly, and are so filled with God's joy and love. I want to be a pillar in the church of my God, given for the body. I can think of no higher calling.

Love in Christ,
Mark.
ειπεν αυτη ο ιησους εγω ειμι η αναστασις και η ζωη ο πιστευων εις εμε καν αποθανη ζησεται
. . . saying to her Jesus, I AM the resurrection and the life, the one believing into Me even dying shall live . . .
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Re: God's Love

Postby shorttribber on Fri Sep 01, 2017 5:58 pm

mark s wrote:I've been beginning to understand God's strength in my weakness. I've told God, even pleaded with Him, that I would pay any price to maintain this intimacy with Him. Maybe the pain, and the difficulty finding a way to live so that my health is stabilized, maybe that's the price. I feel certain this has been part of the price to get me this far. Now I want to make it all the way home, finish my race, keeping the faith.

I want to be one of those men in my church, we know who they are, who serve so selflessly, and are so filled with God's joy and love. I want to be a pillar in the church of my God, given for the body. I can think of no higher calling.

Love in Christ,
Mark.

Just saw this thread mark, wow....praise God, :banana: your testimony is really edifying :banana:

Glory to God! You are receiving what we all seek....Precious Pure Communion (Something impossible to conceive trading away for a relief from such suffering).....Holy and Mighty Power from God Himself!!!!!!!!!!! I'm about to have a shouting Fit!!!!!!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :banana: :banana: :hugs2: :banana: :hugs: :hugs:
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: God's Love

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:06 am

:mrgreen: Agreed, SHorttribber, to see a man (or woman) have so much love for Christ is so refreshing and encouraging (not to mention the maturity and wisdom)......the older I get, the more I learn......and see, and truly understand about mankind and how we really are......
Mark, thank you for your testimony and sharing.
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Re: God's Love

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Tue Sep 05, 2017 3:29 pm

Thank you Mark for sharing, I have not really perused the site much lately.Your testimony was such an encouragement to read. I too have had some very difficult trials, and have had those moments of clarity in my faith, where the Lord is more real, more personal, more cogent than ever, it is surreal and awesome.

When the memory of the trial fades, and life's distractions creep back in, it is good to have a reminder of God's great love for us that takes me back to the painful time when God rescued me from fear and discouragement by His loving presence and the work of His Holy Spirit in my life.

Trials grow us, they sanctify us, of that I am sure. May you reap that wonderful growth as you endure this trial

James 1:2–12 (NASB95)
2 Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
9 But the brother of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position;
10 and the rich man is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away.
11 For the sun rises with a scorching wind and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away.
12 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.


God bless you

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