Hurt

Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:23 am

I ask for your prayers, it seems that the seemingly small issue at my church has now ballooned into a monster, this directly affects my family. After attending and serving for more than 30 years we are now faced with the possibility of having to leave to find another church. This is extremely upsetting to both my husband and I, we have many friends and we are both publicly involved in ministry. The church leadership- some whom I have known for more than half my life whom I have loved, prayed for, come along side of, ministered to, and been mentored by have used their authority to wrong us and have participated in the character assassination of my husband all the while claiming love for us. "Right!" (she says with sarcasm). For our 30+ years of service we get a "thanks- but no thanks- we don't need ya anymore".

The sad part is that barring an act of God to change things, we can no longer effectively serve in this church, and because our ministry there is rather public our absence is going to create a pretty big hole at least for the short term, and people will wonder why we are leaving. Personally I see the church in a struggle for survival, and don't know if it can or even should survive with such poor leadership. If we leave I feel rather certain that others will too- some have been holding out to see what was going to happen.

The other difficulty is finding a new church home, where the word of God is soundly spoken and preached, there are so few around us. I need to be in a church that I feel I can invite my neighbors and family to- trouble is- I'm not sure there's one out there.

Please pray for my husband and I, that first of all we will respond with all the integrity of Christ, not in bitterness or spitefulness. That the Lord would give us peace and a clear conscience and a spirit of love. Pray for God's direction and leading as to where we go from here.

Thanks all

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby mark s on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:27 am

:praying:

This is difficult, but, as you already know, God knows where it's all leading, He's already there!

I'll be in prayer for you, your family, and your church.

Love in Christ,
Mark
ειπεν αυτη ο ιησους εγω ειμι η αναστασις και η ζωη ο πιστευων εις εμε καν αποθανη ζησεται
. . . saying to her Jesus, I AM the resurrection and the life, the one believing into Me even dying shall live . . .
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Re: Hurt

Postby burien1 on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:42 am

:praying:

Sorry you`re going through this. :comfort:
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Re: Hurt

Postby Abiding in His Word on Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:49 am

Hi RT,

Sometimes God moves us out of our comfort zone for other horizons. It's definitely disconcerting, but if we trust Him, we will find another venue for ministry often in a very surprising area.

My prayers are with you during this time.....
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Re: Hurt

Postby Mrs. B on Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:20 pm

Re: Hurt....

you may not understand Now.....but someday you will look back and realize that it is God who has separated you..
and you will rejoice..

Acts 13:2.....As they ministered to the Lord, and fasted, the Holy Ghost said,
Separate me Barnabas and Saul.....for the work whereunto I Have Called them....

When we Love the Lord Jesus....and we give our heart to him.....things don't happen by accident..

He is in control.....even if most people do not realize it....

Encourage yourselves in the Lord....and be patient and see how He opens doors...

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Re: Hurt

Postby lamb7 on Tue Aug 25, 2009 3:46 pm

Resurrection Torchlight wrote:Please pray for my husband and I, that first of all we will respond with all the integrity of Christ, not in bitterness or spitefulness. That the Lord would give us peace and a clear conscience and a spirit of love. Pray for God's direction and leading as to where we go from here.

Thanks all

RT


:praying: Just as you have asked.

In Christ,
lamb
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Re: Hurt

Postby InNeedofaSavior on Tue Aug 25, 2009 7:12 pm

I have experienced a similar situation, and my husband and I left the church. I wonder now if I wasn't rooted strong enough in Christ to stay. I was imature -- I didn't think so at the time, but I know now that I was. Maybe my actions (if I had waited) in this perticular situation could have been a shinning example to another. Sometimes a good "fight" and then a reconciliation bond people stronger than they ever were before. Like steel that is heated and hammered over and over until it becomes something stronger. Pray, pray, pray... God may be leading you in a new direction or He may be leading you through a trial. People make some very stupid mistakes (I know this from my own very stupid mistakes!) Wait upon the Lord. What would glorify God the most? It may take some time to tell... I may have been selfish as I look back in retrospect, but I have grown so much since, and I know God has a wonderful plan for my life -- He does for you too! :a2: There were times in the Bible when God did lead his people to new places... Read, pray and be sensitive to the spirit... He will show you... I will pray for you. :praying:
Joshua 1:9
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee wheresoever thou goest.
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Re: Hurt

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Aug 25, 2009 10:09 pm

:praying: that all will be lifted up to our higher calling as christians, and for strength for your family to walk through this situation to wherever it is you are led by our Father. On a personal note, my heart jerks for the sorrow in yours. :comfort: May He give you comfort.
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Re: Hurt

Postby plalgum on Wed Aug 26, 2009 12:02 am

Hi RT,
Its footsteps in the sand time,You and your your hubby will be ok,trust the Lord.
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Re: Hurt

Postby noble1 on Wed Aug 26, 2009 7:00 pm

Its really hard to take when people mistreat you, use you, and abuse you...but God uses all things for our good...to fashion us into the vessels that He can use. Sit back, talk to the Lord and allow the Master to continue purifying you for the job(s) that He has yet to reveal to you. Use this time to draw closer to the Lord and ask Him what it is He is trying to do through your lives. I know this may all seem elementary to you -- but pray for wisdom...the Lord always gives wisdom to those who ask for it. I'll be praying that you would plant your feet firmly on the Rock while you weather this storm.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
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Re: Hurt

Postby Spreading Salt on Mon Aug 31, 2009 5:52 pm

Dearest Yeshua,

Please use this situation for good. I pray for RT's heart as she deals with the issues at hand. Protect her from the enemy and his schemes. I pray for guidance. Please lead them to their next destination, or give them the ability and discernment that will keep them rooted where they are. Use this for Your Glory God. Refine them and give them the strength to get through. We are long-suffering. Amen.
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Wed Sep 02, 2009 7:11 am

Hi all,

Thank you for your continued prayers, they have helped me gain perspective.Things have really deteriorated since last week, barring an intervention of God- which I am still hoping for, we will likely be resigning from the church. I appreciate all your advice and kind words and I can assure you that I really do believe that the Lord will work this difficulty out for our good, and there is a part of me that is excited to see how. But there is another part that is very wounded especially because what is happening comes at the hands of some of my very good friends, I am struggling with how to deal with that part of it. We know that in leaving that some in our church will be thrown into turmoil and the resulting fallout could be catastrophic, because we have very public ministries there. I am praying that in all of this, that people will learn and grow by it, and that they will also see how the Lord is using it for good in their own lives.

It is very hard do what is right and to be persecuted by your fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord for doing so.
If it were unbelievers it would be easier to understand and take. But when it is people you have fellowshipped with it is very hard. We should know more within the week what we will do, and then there is the need to find a new place to worship and fellowship. This is also difficult, we have attended this church all our life as believers- over 30 years. There are so few churches around us that we feel we could feel at home at and serve in, I ask that you would continue to pray for clear direction as to where the Lord would have us go if in fact we do leave.

Thanks so much everyone

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby jgilberAZ on Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:07 am

:praying:
2 Timothy 2:24a..And the servant of the Lord must not strive ...
The meaning is, that the servant of Christ should be a man of peace. He should not indulge in the feelings which commonly give rise to contention, and which commonly characterize it. He should not struggle for mere victory, even when endeavoring to maintain truth; but should do this, in all cases, with a kind spirit, and a mild temper; with entire candor; with nothing designed to provoke and irritate an adversary; and so that, whatever may be the result of the discussion, "the bond of peace" may, if possible, be preserved.
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Re: Hurt

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Sep 02, 2009 8:29 am

RT.....I understand how you feel. I am in the middle of persecution, too, and on a human level, it is very difficult to be cast out by people whom you are trying to fellowship in Christ with. I can't say I didn't see it coming, because there were signs and I was aware of them before they showed their full hand....but, it is so contrary to everything Jesus is about and taught.

My own personal experience is that after praying several times about my situation, Jesus gave me tangible signs that regardless of how cruel and hurtful the fallen human race can be, He is Faithful, He is Just and He is with me. The same would apply to you.

Though I may not be able to do anything else with or about those who persecute me in His Name (can you imagine), I have been reassured by Him, and in that, I have need of nothing else. He is my primary concern, and the rest I must leave for Him to work out, and I know He will.

Matters of the heart are real, but train your eyes on Jesus, sister, and look at Him and to Him for your needs in this. At the end of the day, you will be rejoicing at what He shows you.....and the rest will have little bearing upside His Faithfulness and Love.....

Its all about Jesus, dear sister....and He is going to come through for you in big ways. He is SO WONDERFUL! :angel:
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:49 am

Though I may not be able to do anything else with or about those who persecute me in His Name (can you imagine), I have been reassured by Him, and in that, I have need of nothing else. He is my primary concern, and the rest I must leave for Him to work out, and I know He will.

Matters of the heart are real, but train your eyes on Jesus, sister, and look at Him and to Him for your needs in this. At the end of the day, you will be rejoicing at what He shows you.....and the rest will have little bearing upside His Faithfulness and Love.....

Its all about Jesus, dear sister....and He is going to come through for you in big ways. He is SO WONDERFUL!


Thanks for that GodsStudent, even though I know this is true- it helps to be reminded.

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Wed Sep 09, 2009 12:08 pm

Just an update

We decided not to resign our membership yet, but we have stopped attending the church. As I suspected others are now leaving or thinking of leaving soon. It is sad to witness the downturn of the church I was saved in, married in, where we dedicated all of our kids and served in various ministries. It is also very sad that two of my very good friends were involved and that it is likely that we will never have the good friendship we once enjoyed.

Again- thanks so much for praying, now we need the Lord's direction as to a new church to attend.

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Sep 09, 2009 4:12 pm

RT: I am so sorry your heart is hurting, and I know how terrible emotional stressors can be. Its one thing to violate principles, but a far greater difficulty to have to deal with betrayal by those you consider your close friends. This is so stressful on the heart....so hard. I don't want to be contrite, but am very sincere when I say its a good time to count your blessings....any and all....it will lift up your heart.

:comfort: May God give you comfort through this trial....I know you have a gentle and tender spirit, because I have been reading your posts for a few years now. May God bring you new friendships and/or a new ministry that will make clear the gain He has for your, because He always increases us by and through His Love!
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Re: Hurt

Postby soonverysoon on Thu Sep 10, 2009 4:20 am

In the last days the hearts of many will turn cold.

Lord Jesus bring joy to this family even in this time of pain. Let their eyes be on you and let them bring you glory through all this. I ask it in your name Jesus, Amen.

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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Thu Oct 22, 2009 5:02 am

Well it's been almost two months since we left our church. So far we have not been very impressed with any church we have visited. The preaching lacks power, the services are entertainment focused and I am afraid that my husband has come to the point where he will not settle for anything other than the perfect church- which doesn't exist. So many churches around us are going through difficulties. Please continue to pray for God's leading.

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby Spreading Salt on Thu Oct 22, 2009 7:09 am

Dear Yeshua,

Please lead them to the place You can use them best. Open their eyes to see what You need them to see right now. Protect them from worldly bias. Heal the hurt and disconnectedness. Amen.
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Thu Dec 03, 2009 7:19 am

Just wanted to provide an update.

We have found a church to attend, the preaching is better than any we have heard for a long time. It's a big church and we are not sure right now if we can serve there in any capacity as we have some differences in doctrinal views. I am not o fan of the big church model, but am trusting the Lord to lead us into His work. If He wants us there then He will make a way for us to use our gifts there to edify the body.

The other side of this coin is that our previous church is- in trying to explain our absence, leaving doubt in people's minds as to my husband's character. We are seeking the Lord's guidance as to how to deal with those who have so severely wronged us and in our absence continue to do so. They are telling people that they are seeking reconciliation with us, but this is not true. We are weighing the options and trying to decide how to proceed. We could just walk away and let the chips fall where they may. But on the other hand we still want to see them come to repentance for what they have done, not just for our sake but for theirs and for the church because we love them and want them to do what is right so that they will please the Lord and so that their ministry can be blessed.

I ask for your prayers about this, for the Lord to guard our words, for wisdom, and for love in dealing with those who have wronged us, and that the Lord would work in them to convict them of their wrong and bring to light the facts that will show it to them so that true reconciliation might take place.

Thank you

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby SueAnn on Thu Dec 03, 2009 11:50 am

RT,

I read this enrire thread for the first time just now. I kept expecting someone to say a particular thing..yet no one did for some reason. I am sure you already thought of, and discarded this, but I would feel remiss if I did not at least bring it up...

Clearly, the Lord has other plans for you, since you are comfortable leaving church #1. If the Lord wanted you to stay, you would know it by now.

You are having doctrinal issues with church #2. Perhaps that is why the Lord led you there? Might the Lord be having doctrinal issues with them, as well? And He decided to bring in folks that would set church #2 on the right path? Only you can know the answer to that because the Lord will open doors and opportunities to teach...

On the other hand...might it be possible that church #2 is NOT the place the Lord needs you in? Might it be that He wants you to start a new church, where ALL the accumulated knowledge that He has provided for you and hubby can be taught to others?

I know nothing for sure. I just was surprised that throughout the entire thread not a single person suggested that you "begin again" afresh. Either they know more about you and your situation than I do, or God was waiting for me to speak up. LOL

For what it's worth...I'm just passing along what popped into my head as I read.

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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:14 am

Hi SueAnn,

All your points have occurred to both my husband and I. We just want to make sure we are leaving all the options on the table for the Lord to accomplish what He wills. It would be easier to walk away now, yet we feel compelled to at least give our brothers in the Lord the opportunity to be reconciled with us. Though scripture puts the onus squarely upon them to come to us. We believe that they really do not understand what they have done to wrong us. So we are thinking that at the very least we need to express this to them and give them an opportunity to reconcile. If they refuse, then there is nothing more we can do. other than tell those people we care about the truth about why we are not there and move on. If they do attempt to reconcile and are sincere about it, there is still no guarantee that we will go back. Right now we have serious trust issues with these men and the Pastor and it would take a lot to rebuild that trust to the place where we could effectively serve there again, but the Lord could change our minds, so I count nothing out right now.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your prayers. This site and the folks here have provided the fellowship that I find missing in my life right now and I cannot stress with words on a screen- just how much I appreciate everyone here.
Thanks.

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby Spreading Salt on Fri Dec 04, 2009 8:44 am

Hang in there RT. God is definitely moving in your lives and you know it is going to turn out for good at some point.

Dear Yeshua,

Please encourage RT and hubby today. I pray that You would give them clear leading and guidance. May their eyes/ears/hearts be open to whatever opportunity it is that they need to see and act upon. Thank You for all You will accomplish through this transition. Please heal the relationships that need to be fixed Abba. Amen.
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Re: Hurt

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Dec 10, 2009 11:07 pm

:praying:
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Re: Hurt

Postby nike on Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:54 pm

RT,

Just wondering how you are doing and how your holidays went? Any updates on the church front?

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Re: Hurt

Postby Waiting4Jesus on Sat Jan 09, 2010 5:57 am

Praying for you... :angel:
"When you pray, rather let your heart be without words than your words without heart."
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Wed Jan 13, 2010 11:57 am

Just wondering how you are doing and how your holidays went? Any updates on the church front?


First of all thank you for keeping us in prayer. The Holidays went well, very busy but we had a great time visiting friends and family. The bottom fell out momentarily though when we went to our previous church for Christmas eve. Our Kids really wanted to go since it has been the tradition all their lives, so we relented and went. Many of the people of the church greeted us very warmly , but sadly the Pastor preached a decidedly Calvinistic message, which really saddened my husband and I. We believe that my husband's accountability toward the Pastor on his Calvinistic leanings was one of the main reasons that he was singled out for "discipline". Now that he isn't there to keep him accountable it seems he is moving the church more and more in that direction. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying that all that the Calvinists believe is evil. But the reformed view is not what the view of our church's constitution holds, nor is it what has been taught in the past 40 years. Needless to say it was both a high and a low point for us.

We are planning to meet with the leadership sometime in the next few weeks to confront them about what they have done. Our hope is to get them to see their wrong doing, because up to now they have not seen it. We hope they will see it and confess and repent of it. Though I believe it would take a miraculous move of the Holy Spirit for all of them to be so moved. Perhaps some of them will and others will not. I have no idea what will come of it. We are prepared for the worst but hopeful for the best. Though it seems impossible I know God can do impossible things. When I get a date for the meeting I will post it here. In the meantime I covet your continued prayers for guidance in how we should approach them, for wisdom and a heart of love toward these men who have caused us such pain and heartache.

Thanks

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Mon Feb 22, 2010 8:49 pm

Some of you have been praying for my husband and I regarding the issues at my former church- we now have a meeting date for this Saturday afternoon. We plan on meeting with the leadership to express why we left and what wrongs we feel they did against us. I ask that you pray for my husband and I that we will take the approach that the Lord would have us take, that we would speak the truth in love, and for the leadership not only to hear us, but to realize what they did was wrong and be willing to repent of it and work toward reconciliation.

Thanks in advance for praying on our behalf.

RT
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Re: Hurt

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:46 am

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for continuing to work on this church body. I pray that Your Will be done in their congregation. Please help iron sharpen iron. Soften their hearts to each other and open their eyes/ears to Your truths so that they can recognize their mistakes and repent where necessary. I pray for You to be in their very midst during this gathering. Conviction where they need it Lord. All the glory to You God. Amen.
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Re: Hurt

Postby burien1 on Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:05 pm

Spreading Salt wrote:Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for continuing to work on this church body. I pray that Your Will be done in their congregation. Please help iron sharpen iron. Soften their hearts to each other and open their eyes/ears to Your truths so that they can recognize their mistakes and repent where necessary. I pray for You to be in their very midst during this gathering. Conviction where they need it Lord. All the glory to You God. Amen.

:praying:in agreement.
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Hurt

Postby laney on Tue Feb 23, 2010 12:27 pm

:praying:
"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be [people] of courage; be strong." (1 Cor. 16:13
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