Prayers needed

Prayers needed

Postby ToledoDebbie on Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:25 am

I have been very stressed and troubled these past few weeks. My Dad is 88 and is dying from Prostrate Cancer and my Mom, also 88 has dementia and is not doing well with all of the changes to their lifestyle since the Covid lock downs began. My daughter is totally disabled and needs my care for almost every aspect of her life from cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, etc. My only granddaughter just turned 18 last month and has so many health problems it would be impossible to even list all of them, but, she is a total mess. My husband was just diagnosed with Diabetes and is angry about all of the changes he is having to make in his lifestyle and seems grumpy and sullen most days. I am caring for my husbands needs, my daughters needs, my granddaughters needs, my parents needs and all of this is literally consuming all of my time and energy. I don't like to complain, I have been blessed by God with a toughness, strength and my health is still pretty good for a 68 year old lady, but, I find myself needing more time and energy than I have! I am it, there is no one else to help and when I have tried to discuss bringing in outside help, both my daughter and parents refuse to even discuss. I could sure use a prayer for continued courage and strength to get me through this season in my life.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Sonbeam on Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:40 am

Dear TDebbie,

Lifting you and your family up to our Lord right now. May He continue to give you of His strength each day,
and fill you with His peace and love.

May our Lord bless you and keep you,

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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Jericho on Sun Jul 12, 2020 7:49 am

:praying:
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby shorttribber on Sun Jul 12, 2020 8:50 am

Sonbeam wrote:Dear TDebbie,

Lifting you and your family up to our Lord right now. May He continue to give you of His strength each day,
and fill you with His peace and love.

May our Lord bless you and keep you,

sonbeam


Praying the same way
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Loop on Sun Jul 12, 2020 11:49 am

Sonbeam wrote:
Dear TDebbie,

Lifting you and your family up to our Lord right now. May He continue to give you of His strength each day,
and fill you with His peace and love.

May our Lord bless you and keep you,

sonbeam


Also Praying for same... :hugs2:
Psalms 91
1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Abiding in His Word on Sun Jul 12, 2020 12:40 pm

Hello Debbie,

I will remember you in my prayers this evening, but I wondered if you have researched the many services available to seniors. There are care-givers who help with housekeeping, shopping, transportation, dementia and alzheimer's care and more. Maybe you will find something that will ease the burden you are carrying. Check this site for some help.

https://www.eldercaredirectory.org/state-resources.htm
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby ToledoDebbie on Sun Jul 12, 2020 5:41 pm

Abiding, thank you for the information. I have researched many local assistance options and presented them to both my parents and daughter. I don't know if they are just too proud or stubborn, or what the concern is? With the Covid shutdowns, many of the options previously available are either very limited or unavailable at this point. It may reach the point when I have to press the issue, but in the past, they have just flat out rejected every idea I suggested.

Thank you all for the prayers, I really appreciate all the help I can get! :grin:
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby burien1 on Mon Jul 13, 2020 6:45 am

I pray you find help in easing some of these burdens.
:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Aug 05, 2020 4:43 pm

ToledoDebbie wrote:Abiding, thank you for the information. I have researched many local assistance options and presented them to both my parents and daughter. I don't know if they are just too proud or stubborn, or what the concern is? With the Covid shutdowns, many of the options previously available are either very limited or unavailable at this point. It may reach the point when I have to press the issue, but in the past, they have just flat out rejected every idea I suggested.

Thank you all for the prayers, I really appreciate all the help I can get! :grin:


Hi TD:
I want to be completely honest and with love. I prayed and will continue to remember you in prayer....but my dear sister, BOUNDARIES....healthy ones....are needed. When I read about all you do for your disabled daughter, and then read that you were tired and worn down at your age and couldn't keep the schedule, THEN read your daughter was dismissive and rejecting ideas that would take some of this burden off you, which seems to be a need and not just a wish....I remembered recent work I have done in my life placing healthy boundaries in place with others.
You're mom and as such, having you handle things just like they like is preferable, but not really good for you. Figure out what you can give and what you need to hand over to them to get taken care of....if you like.....it's a suggestion....and while I spelled it out, my honest gut reaction to your opening post was that you do need to set some healthy boundaries with your family, because you are only one person, and the weight of the world is too much for one person's shoulders. If you go down, do you all go down? Spread those eggs into a few baskets so that all of you are more evenly distributed.....
I will keep you in prayers!
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Abiding in His Word on Wed Aug 05, 2020 5:04 pm

GodsStudent wrote:I want to be completely honest and with love. I prayed and will continue to remember you in prayer....but my dear sister, BOUNDARIES....healthy ones....are needed.


Excellent suggestion, GS. I have an excellent book called BOUNDARIES...When to say yes; When to say no; to take control of your life. Authors are Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/944267.Boundaries

I found it very helpful.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby slick on Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:12 am

Prayer Up Debbie!!!
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby ToledoDebbie on Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:54 am

Thanks Lisa for that healthy advice! I have taken a few steps that so far, have helped a little. I signed my parents up for the "Meals on Wheels" program and they are now getting meals delivered every weekday. So far, so good on their acceptance of that. I am still going to make food to take to them on the weekends, usually a casserole or Roast chicken, etc. that provides more than one meal. I still take groceries once a week, milk, bread and other staples but, not having to buy as much has helped. For my daughter, who is technology friendly (unlike my parents), I set her up a subscription to "Shipt" which is a grocery delivery system. She can now go online when she needs groceries and order what she wants online and they deliver it right to her door! I don't think the subscription was as much as the gas I was using to run there several times a week and I don't have to go into the store as often. There are still weeks that are hectic, especially when there are several Dr.s appointments scheduled for Mom, Dad and/or my Daughter, but, things are improving! Hubby is in better mood lately, starting to accept his new diabetic diet restrictions, which makes life so much more pleasant! Thank you again to all, for prayers and the good advice and ideas!
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:25 am

This is the best news, Debbie.
I am so happy you are taking steps to get assistance shouldering this heavy weight you have been carrying.
It's amazing to me how some people are so extremely strong that noone suspects they can ever break, regardless of what they shoulder...but it's like that.....others see an extremely strong person shouldering seemingly the impossible with little complaint and are shocked to find out they are human beings when, in a moment of sheer overwhelmed, that person cries out. Some of God's people are among the strongest....they are energizer bunnies full of love and care for others. You are one such, Debbie.....I "see you" from miles away.
I hope my words were rec'd. in love, because even though I just blurt out sometimes, and it's typewritten, my heart was all over every syllable.
Much love, and I can't wait to meet you and so many others when our Savior Christ Jesus comes for us. What a day the "FP" Fellowship reunion with Christ will be. This group has been extremely important to my life and in preparing me as well as so many of us for the times we are now seeing unfolding like birthpangs in a birthing suite!!!! Wow !!! and getting soooo excited.....I really want to meet Jesus.
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:30 pm

Abiding in His Word wrote:
GodsStudent wrote:I want to be completely honest and with love. I prayed and will continue to remember you in prayer....but my dear sister, BOUNDARIES....healthy ones....are needed.


Excellent suggestion, GS. I have an excellent book called BOUNDARIES...When to say yes; When to say no; to take control of your life. Authors are Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/944267.Boundaries

I found it very helpful.



When in so much pain over my relationship (or lack of functional relationship) with my daughter, I hit the internet to find me help process feelings. My friends had heard the stories so many times, I just couldn't..... and yet, I was hurting and wanting to do something to help myself process the pain and not have to feel it again today, as there were so many todays in a row with that bad companion of hurt, shame, guilt, defiance, .....
I found this 15 minute video and at the end, the speaker introduced her book. It spoke volumes to me and helped me fix the guilt, set workable terms for my relationship and stop owning all the labels she was putting on me about how I was as a mother, and the labels I was putting on myself because I didn't want to keep doing, but felt responsible for her problems, and like I needed to keep doing in spite of myself.
I don't know if this is useful for anyone other than me as relates to this forum, but I bought her book on audible (I have trouble reading books, but can listen quite easily).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mph1lmJSQAo
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Re: Prayers needed

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Wed Aug 12, 2020 8:21 am

Coming to this thread a bit late, but you have my prayers Debbie, especally for wisdom as you seek to manage all that is on your plate.

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