Son's doing drugs

Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Sat Nov 28, 2015 6:51 pm

Please pray for me and my husband. I just learned today that my 13 yr old and 15 yr old son have an alternative lifestyle that has been progressing since early May. Pot. Alcohol. Our home has been the hang out for so long and I thought it was safe. Little did I know that I was an idiot. Spent some time in their messages on their Ipods and the language, the subject matter. Ugh! I have no words and I am numb. Broken. SS
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Abiding in His Word on Sat Nov 28, 2015 7:07 pm

I'm so sorry, Spreading Salt. My own two sons went through the pot and alcohol stuff too so I know how heartbreaking it can be for parents. We purposely moved to the country thinking it would be a safer, healthier environment than city life for them, but it worked against us as we discovered much later that the boredom led to a search for new ways to fill their time. :(

You and your family will be in my prayers.

:praying:

ETA: Please don't look at yourself as an "idiot" for trusting them. Kids make their own choices and are very skilled at keeping those from their parents. I don't want to change the focus from your sons to mine, but I will tell you from experience that even the very best parenting, values and upbringing have heartbreaking disappointments.

:comfort:
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby burien1 on Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:01 am

:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:15 am

Thanks Abiding!

I spent the morning pouring over the internet the pros/cons of marijuana/alcohol. Both are bad although it looks like marijuana is less likely to cause anything fatal. That being said, they are both illegal for underage teens. Our stupid state has legalized marijuana which makes it even more difficult argue against.

My immediate plan is to love them through this the best I can.

Regardless of the health issues caused by substance use, the sneaking/lying aspect of their behavior is completely unacceptable. Our trust has been shredded and now we have that to deal with on top of poor decisions. I am going to do random urine tests to monitor their usage and they will lose privileges that they seem to have been taking for granted or have felt they were entitled to.

Dearest Yeshua,

I praise You for waking me from my slumber! Please help us to be wise and discerning as we move forward with our kids and the decisions we implement. Help us to be the parents that they need us to be for them through this situation. Help us to be loving in all aspects of our discipline and consequences. Please convict our kids and make these substances unappealing to them. Give me the words and the actions that will bring You glory God. Help me lead by example and be gracious yet firm. Please give us guidance and the ability to support each other and grow in our relationships with each other. May we keep You as the main focus for everything we do. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby sacredcowbasher on Sun Nov 29, 2015 11:26 am

:praying:

Jesus will help you and your husband use wisdom, love ( tough or not ) going forward. This may be a new challenge but its not your first one, He will not fail you. Lean on Him. Look to Him.
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby 4givenmuch on Sun Nov 29, 2015 3:38 pm

"Jesus, please grab a hold of both of these boys and reveal to them the dangerous path they are on. Have mercy, Abba, and make them easily entreated. Draw them back to you and into a right relationship with their parents and use them to reach out to the other kids as a witness of Your great grace. Strengthen mom and dad and give them comfort in Your Holy Word. You know what it feels like when someone turns away from love, and only You can make this right. Please, Abba! Move mightily in this family! Amen!"
Seek Humility!
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby extravagantchristian on Mon Nov 30, 2015 8:00 am

The thing about pot is that it gets them interested in mind altering substances. When they get bored with that high they move on to stronger stuff. I always warn my kids that drug addiction runs in our family and once you start, you can't stop. It'll ruin your life and your children's. 90℅ of children in foster system are there because their parents did drugs. Tell them it's a sin to be drunk and high. Sometimes I have my kids watch the show on a &e, called intervention. It shows them the end result of addiction.

My kids aren't even teenagers yet, but Im really dredding the future, I know I'm not going to escape without worrying about this topic. That's why I can't wait for Jesus to come back. I hope it's really soon!! So many lives are being ruined daily.

Praying for you.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Mon Nov 30, 2015 8:14 am

Praying for your sons and for you and your husband.

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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Jericho on Mon Nov 30, 2015 11:33 am

I spent the morning pouring over the internet the pros/cons of marijuana/alcohol. Both are bad although it looks like marijuana is less likely to cause anything fatal.


First I wanted to say I'm sorry to hear about your sons. I did an essay on marijuana, so I had to do some research about it. I learned it has all the negative effects of cigarettes plus a few extra. In particular cardiovascular and lungs problems. It can also impair things like driving because it affects coordination, cognitive abilities, peripheral vision, and reaction time.

On the mental health side, it has been linked to hallucinations, paranoia, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and schizophrenia (In particular those who are already genetically predisposed to schizophrenia). It can also reduce IQ by a couple of points. Then there are the more subtle behavior changes that can lead to big problems such as lowering inhibitions, decreasing motivation, etc. Of course it doesn't necessarily mean these things will develop, just that it's a possibility. Everybody will react to it differently. But it affects heavy smokers that started out young the most. When used heavily by young adults, it can cause long term thinking and memory problems, sometimes even permanently.

Something I think that is overlooked is the spiritual aspect of drugs. The bible likens drug abuse to witchcraft and sorcery. It calls these things pharmakeia, which is where we get the word pharmacy from. I don't know what all that implies but I think that's reason enough to stay away from anything that affects our thinking (If we can help it!). Hopefully this is not too much information.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Mon Nov 30, 2015 2:30 pm

SS: I know you prayed on my threads concerning the same. Having been through a process with this subject matter, I can say that things have gotten better here at my house, BUT....a lot of it has to do with me and getting to the bottom line with my daughter real quick like. I have set boundaries and been very strict about enforcing them, and making her be accountable. Its a really gut wrenching and tough subject to deal with, and Toto, we are no longer in Kansas. :(

It will be a process, and my advice to you would be to take it slow with this, as much as you can, because you will make better decisions if you do. I am right there with you, though, and my heart aches that you are going thru this. It will get better, and at least in my own family, after all that we went through, I can honestly say we are more bonded and opened up than we ever have been, and so it was not all bad....what we have gone through so far, and what is likely to come in the future.

I am praying for you and for your family, SS.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:08 am

Thank you everyone for chiming in and praying for us!

We have had a couple of days to process the situation. Tonight, we will have our family discussion. My husband has been waiting for the boys to come forward with their guilt, but I could see they were just comfy cozy in not bringing up the fact that their stash has been removed. I briefly asked my 15 yr old why he hasn't said anything about it yet when tucking him in last night and he said that we obviously don't care because we haven't talked about it with them yet. I told him that Dad was really hoping for the conviction of guilt to drive them both into confessing and opening up the door for family discussion. He also told me that he has been smoking for 2 years and he doesn't see a problem with it (and obviously we didn't either) so he's not worried about our discussion points. Oh boy! It's going to be an interesting evening at our house.

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for being in control of all things and for helping our family through this situation. Lord, guide us and give us wisdom when dealing with our boys. May Your will be done in our home. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby extravagantchristian on Tue Dec 01, 2015 7:42 am

It's sound like you're doing a good job handling this. Me, I would have come un-glued. You can do this!

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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Dec 01, 2015 8:17 am

SS: I wanted to share some observations I've had and actions I've taken in my home.

My daughter, like your son, is very flippant about this, and I've heard it all: Everyone does this, it's not a big deal! I will be old enough in 2 years and you can't stop me! Fine, if you don't want me to smoke in your house, I'll do it outside.....etc.
So, I ordered up some cheap (but they work) drug tests from the internet, and at will (mine, not hers), I make her give me a sample and I test her. She is very clear what will happen if she fails a test, and since she doesn't want to lose what she has, she doesn't smoke the stuff anymore. Her friends all send her pictures and videos of themselves getting high, and I let their parents know they had done it, and can you believe their parents say I have too much drama, so they aren't letting their kids come to my house? CRAZY WORLD. Oh, and I also shared with these kids parents that my daughter and their daughters emptied out our liquor cabinet. Unfortunately, we have a stocked cabinet for parties and holidays, but we don't drink, so by the time we discovered it, there were LOTS of empty bottles and the kids were not even the least bit remorseful....it simply blew my mind. I would have been shaking in my shoes had this happened during my childhood.
I do let my daughter go to these kids houses, and functions with these kids, and she complains that they are all still getting high, but she cant.....fine by me....and I am not sorry in the least that while she's living in my house and I am LEGALLY responsible for her, she's not doing underage drinking and drugs.....so she can get over herself.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Jericho on Tue Dec 01, 2015 1:22 pm

Teens are often near sighted and can't see how things will affect them later in life. But it's the things you can't see that get you. A little alcohol and marijuana may seem benign now, but it opens the doors to other things. And in hard times these are the things they will turn to. EC is correct that many of the people on hard drugs now started out on marijuana.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:27 pm

We are doing good. Great discussion with the boys. I apologized to them for not ever educating them about the dangers of drugs/alcohol. I've always talked about the physical hazards of smoking on the heart, to include live cow heart dissections at their elementary schools during Jump Rope for Heart.

Main point of contention is that they are still growing and developing physically. Playing with drugs/alcohol at these younger ages is just asking for developmental problems later in life. Just because a substance has been legalized, doesn't make it safe. It's all poison. Even though I am legally able to smoke marijuana in my state, I am not allowed to have it in my system for work. Reason being because it sticks around longer in the body and I would be working "under the influence" for days/weeks. If a substance is that long lasting, imagine what it's doing to the human body.

They understand that marijuana is not allowed in our home. It is illegal for them and mom and dad don't participate in the use of it. They also understand that we are preventing them from touching a hot stove by preventing them from participating in this behavior as much as possible. We understand that we can't trust them to behave and be honest. The lies and stealing/hiding have already shown that. They will be required to take random urine tests whenever and wherever mom/dad say so. Consequences of lost privileges if substance found will follow.

All activities are on hold for a time. No rides to/from school. Busing the rest of the school year. Maybe my son will get his license in March, but that is all subject to change. Definitely no on sleepovers and supervision required for special events.

All involved or potentially involved kiddos are getting a call to their parents from myself for coffee and discussion while the kids aren't around. I feel I need to let them know what I found and that their children might have been involved/exposed to drugs at my place.

I have been educating myself on marijuana and am disgusted at what is out on the market for sale: pills, vapor, oil, plants, drinks, food, .....!! All of these things have varying degree of THC chemical in them, not to mention the cancerous fillers. GRRRRR! There is even synthetic urine available for purchase for the hard core users that need to pass tests!

In a nutshell, the home is calm and the boys are being respectful and polite. My 15 year old was actually somewhat happy to see the urine tests arrive.

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for waking us up to the situation in our home. Please help us to continue to love our kids as best we can while they are in our care. Help us to teach them the right/wrongs and encourage them to make good choices. I pray we can heal our relationships Lord. Help us lean on You for all things and to trust You through the days ahead. Please make these substances unappealing to my boys. Help them to stay clear of them. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby burien1 on Thu Dec 10, 2015 5:42 pm

Sounds like you have handled this with wisdom. Praying for them to make wise decisions.

My county is mostly rural, but being between Baltimore and Philadelphia, we are having an epidemic of heroin deaths. So many middle class families are losing children.
Our governor has appointed a special task force, the problem is so bad. Nobody seems to understand the reason for it, but even Christian families here are suffering the losses.

My heart goes out to everyone still raising children in the times we are living in. :hugs:

:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Abiding in His Word on Thu Dec 10, 2015 6:26 pm

Spreading Salt wrote:All involved or potentially involved kiddos are getting a call to their parents from myself for coffee and discussion while the kids aren't around. I feel I need to let them know what I found and that their children might have been involved/exposed to drugs at my place.


I did the same when I found out my son and a neighbor friend were smoking pot in my house while I was at work. I went to the friend's home and asked to speak with the father. When I told him our kids were smoking pot...he said he knew it because he was buying it for them!!! He didn't see anything wrong with it and was a user himself! And that was 35 yrs. ago! It's a difficult job parenting. I could tell you stories that would make you question my parenting skills, :mrgreen: so I'll spare you those, but want to tell you that my two sons have turned out very well despite those "setbacks" and both are responsible men who have very good jobs.

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

P.S. Peer pressure during the teen years is awful. :(
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Dec 11, 2015 2:58 pm

Hi SS: I am SO PROUD of you for calmly addressing the situation and taking a stand in your home. It is so important for us parents of these teens to show then that while they feel grown up and as though they can and do make their own choices/decisions...they are still growing, and experience has taught us to train them up better than their best thinking will get them. My daughter feels grown up and is protesting adults in her life making decisions that affect her life, and she insists she wants to move out and take care of herself, but it's all a daydream, because she has no concept of what taking care of herself entails, and I know she is not ready, just being rebellious, and just acting on what she and her friends think about and talk about. All of them want to move out and "do their thing," but they are like the cheese commercial, .....(don't know if you've all seen the cheese commercial where the cheese isn't quite ready to be used, lol).

I contacted parents of my daughter's friends and was shocked to find that they were polite to me, but after we spoke, they said I was a problem.....the problem. Maybe this is why the kids are so unruly.

Lately I am thinking of taking my child's cell phone, because it's these repeated conversations with these friends that is causing my child to continue to think rebelliously. They all think they have it figured out and the parents/grandparents are all going......huh?
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby readyornot on Wed Dec 16, 2015 9:29 pm

Prayers and heartfelt wishes to Spreading Salt and all parents. I know there are plenty of physical/chemical/legal/vocational reasons to argue against pot use. What struck me in reading this thread, is how it always affects relationships. Think about the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Do you really think it held some special biological/chemical agent that imparted forbidden knowledge. I kinda doubt it. I think it could have been a Krispy Kreme donut and the result would have been the same. It was just the medium for breaking trust, breaking relationships and breaking hearts. Your sons have just demonstrated their kinship to Adam and Eve, as we all have in many ways. Spiritually, this can be a huge learning experience, in terms of understanding and experiencing first hand how we do the opposite of Love, and sin. I know these perspectives may not appeal easily to teenagers, but I would still lay them out there. And, when tribulation or who knows what other hard times really start to hit, families are really going to be put to the test in terms of commitment, loyalty, going against the stream etc. And no drug, legal or illegal, is going to be able to carry anyone through it, though many will try that route. Life is so easy right now for most American kids. When it gets real hard, they will have to survive by making hard, sober decisions. Your kids' greatest asset is that they have two Christian parents who love them. And breaking the trust with you parents is damaging to their greatest asset. They don't realize it yet, but that's true. I'm a child and family therapist of 26 years and currently work very closely with kids in foster care. I've known so many kids who would gladly trade their drugs for even one semi-decent parent. That's what they really want, but often don't realize it until it's too late. Just try to keep it from going to addiction, because I have also seen kids who want to stop, realize they're ruining important relationships, but just can't or don't seem to have the right motivation. There are so many variables, but drugs always make everything worse, eventually. If you can't live without it and you should be able to, you've got a problem. If you use and can stop anytime you want, then why would you willingly sacrifice so much for something you don't have to use? I'm diabetic and I WANT my sugar (see reference to Krispy Kreme above). Although I don't care if I die and go to Heaven, I've got too many people depending on me here. We all have our struggles. It's about love, commitment. Anyway, I'll pray for your family, and all families on this board trying to raise kids. I still have young ones, too.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Mon Dec 21, 2015 3:01 pm

readyornot wrote:Prayers and heartfelt wishes to Spreading Salt and all parents. I know there are plenty of physical/chemical/legal/vocational reasons to argue against pot use. What struck me in reading this thread, is how it always affects relationships. Think about the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. Do you really think it held some special biological/chemical agent that imparted forbidden knowledge. I kinda doubt it. I think it could have been a Krispy Kreme donut and the result would have been the same. It was just the medium for breaking trust, breaking relationships and breaking hearts. Your sons have just demonstrated their kinship to Adam and Eve, as we all have in many ways. Spiritually, this can be a huge learning experience, in terms of understanding and experiencing first hand how we do the opposite of Love, and sin. I know these perspectives may not appeal easily to teenagers, but I would still lay them out there. And, when tribulation or who knows what other hard times really start to hit, families are really going to be put to the test in terms of commitment, loyalty, going against the stream etc. And no drug, legal or illegal, is going to be able to carry anyone through it, though many will try that route. Life is so easy right now for most American kids. When it gets real hard, they will have to survive by making hard, sober decisions. Your kids' greatest asset is that they have two Christian parents who love them. And breaking the trust with you parents is damaging to their greatest asset. They don't realize it yet, but that's true. I'm a child and family therapist of 26 years and currently work very closely with kids in foster care. I've known so many kids who would gladly trade their drugs for even one semi-decent parent. That's what they really want, but often don't realize it until it's too late. Just try to keep it from going to addiction, because I have also seen kids who want to stop, realize they're ruining important relationships, but just can't or don't seem to have the right motivation. There are so many variables, but drugs always make everything worse, eventually. If you can't live without it and you should be able to, you've got a problem. If you use and can stop anytime you want, then why would you willingly sacrifice so much for something you don't have to use? I'm diabetic and I WANT my sugar (see reference to Krispy Kreme above). Although I don't care if I die and go to Heaven, I've got too many people depending on me here. We all have our struggles. It's about love, commitment. Anyway, I'll pray for your family, and all families on this board trying to raise kids. I still have young ones, too.


Wow, thank you for that post. You said a lot here and so much was so relevant and just reiterates what it seems like we are experiencing in our own home.

I am having a renewed love and patience for my daughter and it is making all the difference in the world in our relationship. When my perspective improves, it does seem her attitude does, too. She has not given up on her ideas that drugs, when used conservatively, and alcohol, too, are ok. I am not responding to those comments and opinions when she expresses them, because I can't do anything about the age she is at and the fact that she reserves the right to think for herself. I hope to allow life experiences and events that come and go to assist all of us in making better life choices.

In the meantime, just reaching out to her in love, and doing things with her, and spending time being there, especially to listen to her conversations and offer my opinions and observations, when welcomed, is going a long way in keeping things under control. She knows I absolutely will not allow any drugs or alcohol, and/or abusing my trust when using the car on her own, and she is holding to my house rules there. Of course, she is wearing that terrible earring in the side of her nose, and even though I have told her several times to take it out, the thing just shows back up again. I was glad that so many of our family members noticed it yesterday during a Christmas get together, and offered up their opinions without my having asked for it. (It takes a village!).......

All in all, we are going to see rebellion in our kids. I was probably the most rebellious....nah, I take that back, I've seen some other real doozies....but believe me....independence was important to me and I pushed the envelope everywhere during my own childhood, so.....I am learning to identify and let the "biggies" be my deal breakers, and some of the other stuff....meh.....for now, it will have to slide, because if she doesn't have her outlet for rebellion, then she will, like a balloon that overfills with air, eventually pop and we'll have a big explosion.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby shorttribber on Tue Dec 22, 2015 9:17 am

:praying:
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Wed Feb 17, 2016 7:22 am

Quick update for you all.

Our relationships are strong and they are passing their urine tests. We have had several great discussions about the influence of mind altering substances and all the bad that can come from it. We have held off all interactions with friends coming/going to each others homes for a season and have discovered so much useful information about these relationships in the process. The boys actually seem relieved that we are involved. They bring discussion forward without being prodded and there is a sense of unity that makes my heart so happy again. I think that our strong stance against drugs and alcohol has given them solid reasons for turning down specific 'friends', without the fear of hurting their friends feelings (which is a big deal during these teen years).

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for our family awakening to the sin that had engulfed us. Thank You for healing our relationships and strengthening our ability to overcome these hurdles. Thank You for guiding us through these days. Please continue to keep us alert and to help us love each other through this crazy life. Help all of us stand up for what is right and rid ourselves of what is wrong. Encourage my kids to follow You and keep You involved in their lives each day. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Feb 17, 2016 9:59 am

:blessyou: What a wonderful testimony and encouraging. Our kids really do respond positively when we act strongly to show them how much we care! My daughter is very independent and going to be a handful nomatter what, but I am really encouraged that she, too, is respectful of the boundaries we've put around her. She is still stong minded and strong willed, and as a result, even though she's had her driving permit for a year and a half, I will not let her get her license, still (we've had a car for her to drive for a full year now, and it simply sits outside waiting on her to stop being so strong willed)...she tells us that when she starts driving she will be picking her friends up to go to school and we wont know about it..... :roll: what a hard head!......but overall.....much improvement at our house, too!
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby brett on Tue Mar 29, 2016 6:14 pm

Slow to catch onto this thread......but glad I did..

Very encouraging and meaningful thread. I've only got a 6 month old daughter right now, but I am archiving this experience for future reference when my daughter gets older. These days you have to watch your children like a hawk, there are SO MANY bad influences tempting them and pressuring them down wrong paths. Its so important to take a clear and strong stand against such things, but to show we're doing it because we love them........which I can see you have done. The interesting point being that you are helping your children to internally fight back against these friends and their infleucnes, giving them the self-confidence to say no themselves when needed. I recall my mother always saying how her very strict father (my grandfather) gave her an easy way to say no to her friends........sometimes kids really need a solid reason (argument / backup) to have the confidence to say "no" to their friends........

Checking up on our kids is loving them.........its making an effort to correct their errors..........that is love in action. Keep on top of this as while the battle may be won the war with this world never is............not until Jesus returns.
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God Bless and thanks for posting about this on these forums..

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Also thanks GodsStudent for sharing your experiences........very helpful...
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Fri Nov 11, 2016 10:23 pm

Still remnants of this stupid **** around their lives. Trying to be the parent Yeshua wants me to be. Still loving my kids beyond my heart. Praying for guidance and outcomes.

Dearest Yeshua,

You already know everything about us and our situation. Help me. Guide me. Lead me to decisions and consequences that align with Your Will. YOU REIGN. GLORY IN THE HIGHEST YOU REIGN. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby burien1 on Sat Nov 12, 2016 7:22 am

:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Nov 13, 2016 4:20 pm

Mine, too, Spreading Salt. Like you, I am doing the very best I can to teach, talk, listen.....and my daughter is determined to be her own person, make her own decisions where this is concerned, and do what she feels is right for her, regardless of what I feel about it.
We just talked about this Friday and she is very affirmative that she will continue to smoke, because she enjoys it and she insists that she will never go beyond that, because she knows there are addicts on both sides of our family background and she could get hooked.
It's precarious, but not my decision or choice any longer, as she has taken that from me.....and let me know I have no say in it. My daughter is 17 now, and classified an adult, and as such, she is going to be and do her own thing and lean to my wisdom and guidance when she feels like it, and only when she feels like it. smh.....
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Nov 29, 2016 8:24 pm

Dearest Yeshua,

Please protect our children from these substances. Make them unappealing and awful. Help us handle the situations. Please guide and direct us as parents in their lives. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:43 am

Im joining you in this prayer, SS. It is difficult to live and difficult to watch and see....their lives...and then our lives....spiraling out of control......so disheartening to know that the person we raised them to be is lost .....lost to the world they are chomping at the bit to get out there and capture....overcome......the only thing is.....we've been there, weren't able to do that....know it cant be done......and know.....we cant stop them from making some of the same mistakes we made......
Keep them safe, Lord, while they flounder and put so much space between them and you and us.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Wed Mar 01, 2017 11:59 am

So far their drug tests are coming back negative. We just gave my son his driver's license back. I would have held it longer but they are both in after school golf and there are no buses available for that sport. Kids have to get rides to/from the individual golf courses. Works better for us to let him drive them to the program.

We actually had a sit down last night with some great Proverbs discussion.

Dearest Yeshua,

Please lead them and help them to make good choices. Remind them of the wisdom You have provided for our lives. May they tap into those truths and truly embrace them. Father, I give these kids to You. Help me trust the timing of all things that You allow in our lives. Help me to be the parent they need for this season. Help them recognize true obedience and respect for their elders and especially for their parents as we guide them. Calm my fears Lord. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby sacredcowbasher on Wed Mar 01, 2017 8:09 pm

Great news S S !
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 01, 2017 9:30 pm

This is outstanding news. My daughter has really turned a positive corner lately, too. I am so excited for both of us to see these positive changes and hope these kids will remember who we raised them to be once they leave our homes and venture out into the world.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby mrgravyard49 on Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:30 am

Sorry I am late to seeing this SS but Praying for You and Family..
Drugs can be hell.. Since 2002 our son has been on drugs, much of it coke. Then in 2013 when my wife had her stroke he went to heron. I cant begin to tell you the hell its been, but Thank God he is now off heron. Still having coke and pot issues but getting better. So there is Hope. Keep the faith and Please keep us updated.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby sacredcowbasher on Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:30 pm

Glad to hear about the progress your son is making MG49. Little by little God does the good work in our lives.
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Aug 22, 2017 8:56 pm

So my 17 year old has decided that he knows more than us and he is moving out. He is choosing a life of bad behaviors instead of his family. Grrrr and heartbreak


Dearest Yeshua,

I just am speechless. Please help and protect. I want to trust this path and Your plan but I am struggling. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby burien1 on Wed Aug 23, 2017 5:54 am

:( :praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Jericho on Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:22 am

Spreading Salt wrote:So my 17 year old has decided that he knows more than us and he is moving out. He is choosing a life of bad behaviors instead of his family. Grrrr and heartbreak


Dearest Yeshua,

I just am speechless. Please help and protect. I want to trust this path and Your plan but I am struggling. Amen.


My pastor came from a Christian home, but strayed from the faith in his late teens through much of his twenties. He got involved in drugs and all sorts of mischief. He's got a lot of wild stories from those days. He knew he had to change or else he would probably be dead or end up in jail. He's now in his 50's and is a true man of God, thanks to those around him who kept praying for him. So never give up, and keep praying!
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Aug 24, 2017 8:53 am

I hate to say that this story is so typical, but it is. It's my story......I did the same.....and while doing me my way, at that time in my life, I came to the end of my rope and me and that is when all that I had been raised with crossed my mind, and at my end, with nothing good going on for me, I then turned to the Lord.
SS, while I know this is horrible to live through as a parent, I almost think it's necessary.....for many people....it was for me, it is for my daughter (who has been in this process since earlier this year and is already firming up her desire to go to church)......
So, absolutely I am going to join you in praying for him.....as we know the enemy will try to take advantage of the situation....but I know our Father and actually, as I watch my daughter and remember my own journey at this young age.....I am having a lot of peace, as the Lord is moving in her life and will in your son's, too.

Its bad, but a lot of good will most probably come out of it.
I will be praying for you in this, too.

:hugs:
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Thu Aug 24, 2017 12:32 pm

Thank you all for praying.

Dearest Yeshua,
I know You have a plan. Help us trust You. Move mightily in this situation. Protection above everything for my boy. Make the necessary changes and use this time for Your purposes. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:15 pm

Spreading Salt wrote:So my 17 year old has decided that he knows more than us and he is moving out. He is choosing a life of bad behaviors instead of his family. Grrrr and heartbreak


Dearest Yeshua,

I just am speechless. Please help and protect. I want to trust this path and Your plan but I am struggling. Amen.


So sad, the enemy has deceived him, but greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world!

I echo the words of others here...don't give up....God is in the business of rescuing sinners of all kinds...and He is able to rescue your son!

Praying for your son and your family as you navigate through these shark infested waters, that your son will get in the boat with Jesus!

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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Fri Sep 15, 2017 7:38 am

It is so strange to be still and let things happen. My brother tells me to go fight for my son and cause problems where he is staying, threatening them with legal stuff. I am just not thinking this is the way to go. When I text my son (he doesn't have a phone but only ability to text), he is so indifferent and casual about things. He doesn't have any remorse or apparent desire to come home. It is disappointing for sure but I kind of feel like I just need to let things unfold. He is down to his last $30 in our joint account. When he left in August, he had $600 and was feeling high on the hog and on top of the world. Since I have his phone, I can see his interactions via Messenger and he has spent it all on different drugs. His peeps are starting to get angry at him though so hopefully this joyride will lose it's appeal sooner rather than later. Ugh!

Dearest Yeshua,
Help me/us be still when needed. If reaction is needed, make it known. Please teach us all what we need to learn through this. I pray for protection for all. Thank You Lord. Amen
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby sacredcowbasher on Sun Sep 17, 2017 7:04 pm

:praying:
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Mon Sep 18, 2017 8:59 pm

Lord please bring peace and assurance as Spreading Salt entrusts their son to you. Lord work in this young man's life to bring him to yourself, to see the futility in walking this current self destructive path, open his eyes Lord before lasting and/ or drastic consequences ensue. Reunite this family under your care.

In Jesus Name

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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:27 pm

:praying:
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby Spreading Salt on Tue Jan 30, 2018 1:03 pm

Been a little while. He ended up getting told he had to leave the other house because she found out he was doing drugs ---- uh duh!!! This was back in November. His older sister brought him home to us. We asked him what his plans were because we all understand he wanted to do his drug thing and we don't allow that in our home/family. He stated he wanted to make it a go back with us. ALL rules and a few extra were added. He turns 18 in March so that date is quickly approaching if he decides to move along. He understands he is out the minute he is found guilty on our weekly drug screens. He has since found a job and it took some time but he has come back into the fold. He is finally showing signs of my sweet boy again. With that being said, I cringe every time I run the test because I will have to apply the penalty if he fails and I just don't want to have to do that.

Dearest Yeshua,

Thank You for the peace we are experiencing. Help us stay alert with love/discipline as needed. Please continue to make the drugs unappealing and awful in his sight. I pray he overcomes and succeeds. One day at a time Lord and thank You for walking through this with us every day and night. Amen.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby sacredcowbasher on Tue Jan 30, 2018 4:13 pm

Thank you for sharing your burden with us Spreading Salt. It is a blessing to see how you and your husband handled this. I believe the outcome speaks to the Lord being in the way it was handled. Love was always present throughout the whole process and because you pray and bring things to the Lord, He led you guys through it. I’m believing your son will be done exploring the dark side so to speak and enjoy the blessings of the light. God bless you all
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby burien1 on Tue Jan 30, 2018 7:31 pm

:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Son's doing drugs

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Jan 31, 2018 10:24 am

:praying:

My husband has left again. He wasn't as interested in our marriage as he was in drugs and those he does drugs with...a simple fact of life for me. Im heartbroken, who wouldn't be?

My daughter is living with me right now. She turned 18 last November and now she has to keep her nose clean or risk losing the opportunity to live in my home. Last year, I had the burden of being required to care for her nomatter what she did, and she took advantage of that. Now, if she wants the use of the car I provide for her at my discretion, and the comfort of home and home cooked meals and ....my company (ok, Im not the most fascinating person in the world, but I am mom, and I do love her, and she can feel most safe and secure here in our home!)....anyway, SS.....
it truly is a one day at a time type thing......
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