husband likely moving out

Re: husband likely moving out

Postby sacredcowbasher on Sun Mar 05, 2017 2:23 pm

You are awesome Lisa!
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Mar 05, 2017 7:23 pm

Absolutely, Jay. The Lord keeps telling me that it is my weakness that I am growing and I earnestly believe, know and trust this to be the case.
Thank you for your post and for your believing on Him, who is worthy of all our praise and has NEVER let any of us down or turned any of us away. I am focusing diligently on walking with Him, side by side, and avoiding any and all negative thinking and sinfulness, because I want nothing to interfere with the closeness I am sharing with the Lord during this most grievous time in my life.
In truth, even with many people, I have gone all but silent. I wrote this to a friend earlier today:
Spending a lot of time with the Lord which is, for me, critical, as I find my burdens to be so significant that only the Great Physician can heal me now, and I am responding best by the quiet communion between Him and me. Most everything else stresses me, and I am not able to endure stress at this time.


I do not mind sharing my humanity with all of you because we all have it. The faithful must be that.....faithful.....to the Lord and their relationship with Him. I am doing this today and yesterday and if God gives me life, tomorrow.....It is a constant effort, decision and certainly choice.....
it is the ONLY THING that is bringing me the much needed rest and peace now.

Even if my husband were to walk in the door now, I would be a wreck.....and could only handle such a thing if I were strong in the Lord.....and believe me, this is one of those scenarios I stress over....(so I endeavor to say he may not be walking in the door today, lol. :mrgreen: ).

God is here with me and I am ok right now.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:13 am

God is moving vividly in my life right now and it's simply amazing and comforting and encouraging to have had so many personal encounters with the Lord. For example, I have been playing a game with the Lord wherein I put my whole hand on a long page of sermons and out of all I touch, only one pops up....with all that's there, the Lord gives me what I need to hear in the moment every time. He is teaching me so much about why He allows these things to happen in our lives, and fixing them is NOT about getting us out of an immediate jam, but about establishing ourselves with Him so that our daily walk can be filled INTIMATELY with Him. While it is true that I am a Christian and have been one for many years, it would not be said that I have such intimate contact with the Lord all the time.

Things have happened.....there are sordid details, I've had contact with my husband a few times in the past few days and things were said and discussed, and to that end, it is IMPORTANT for me to say that those conversations and things said were powerful and yet, the Word of God and the "touch" of God so personally, making sure I have His Word on various things I spoke with my husband about....that is SUPERNATURAL. For example, I told my husband that perhaps we should be divorced because he willed to live in darkness and I willed to live in Christ's Light now, and when I came home, after that conversation, the Lord made it a point to put material in front of me (via a simple google search on breaking our vows) that enticed and took my mind back to the Lord.

His Word in Psalms 15: 1 to 4 is about King David asking the Lord who may dwell in His sacred tent and who may live on his holy mountain and in those verses, the Lord answered that among others, a special blessing is given to the one who fears the Lord and keeps an oath even when it hurts and does not change. (the oath is the sacred marriage vows). So, you see, I have the option to divorce, based on various facts that I have ascertained during most recent events....but I also see a promise from the Lord that I had NEVER heard of before. I've never heard, during all the times I've discussed or heard marriage separation and divorced about these scriptures....NEVER.
My learning this just teaches me that I can go a level higher with the Lord in His Promises to me, if I choose, knowingly, to do this.....that is why the Lord revealed this to me. It's not a commandment for me not to divorce my husband, and that choice is still available under the circumstances, if I were to choose that......
I like the teaching and the option and what this means......

Also, He's been giving me special instruction on Grace and how we can only have it when the inner weapons of bitterness, anger and rebellion are laid at the Cross, ON PURPOSE, and in spite of whatever emotions. Then scriptures such as Matt: 5 3-4 can be provided to us in our close communion with the Lord. (Matt 5: 3-4 are about those who mourn being comforted and that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the poor in Spirit).

This is the special work the Lord has been doing in my life, and very personally, I must say, in the past few days. He is teaching me how to walk through this trial.....not that He hasn't done this with me before, but we're human and we forget and we stumble into our humanity......but in that I am truly focused now on going to Him first and almost wholly for the answers and how to live each day with this burden, I am getting up close and personal communion and contact with the Living God.

Yall...did you hear what I just said?
I AM GETTING UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL COMMUNION AND CONTACT WITH THE LIVING GOD.

I can't tell you all the little details, because I'm living them, moment to moment, hour to hour and so forth, but what I am saying is a FACT....

The Living God is moving in my life in a very personal and "so you know I'm right here" kind of way.......and while I am burdened to my very soul over my husband, I am experiencing a Love from our Savior and our Lord that reminds me that He is WORTHY and FAITHFUL and SO GOOD to us....SO GOOD....and in all that is going on in the world, He absolutely makes a way to get personal with me all the time through these days....

In the midst of this incredible trial, this is going on, and it's hard to process it all, because I am so overwhelmingly moved by the Lord's personal involvement and assurances in my life that He is here with me.....it is hard to focus on who isn't here with me sometimes....
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:22 am

another thing that goes along with this most recent post is King David's prayer as found in Psalms 40:

Psalm 40:1-3King James Version (KJV)

40 I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.

2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.

3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Wed Mar 08, 2017 9:19 am

Lisa,

Thank you for sharing your heart with us, and I will continue to pray for you as you navigate through these troubled waters in your life. Or rather as you strive to allow God to navigate for you. I pray that He will remind you daily that He is your strength, and His strength is what will get you through this.

here are some songs that might minister to you right now

Jesus take the wheel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_OpRlUZQoI

Oceans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBJJJkiRukY

I am not alone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow4OfW4DP9s


You and your family are in my prayers

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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:28 am

Stacey: You know you are much loved by me. Thank you for your prayers, your friendship and for ministering unto me.
Lisa
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:29 am

Christ Jesus, today I am waiting for you. Thank you and Bless you. I love you. Lisa
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Mar 09, 2017 6:13 am

My beautiful Father in Heaven, again today, I have many brand new things to thank you for. While it's not necessary for me to write out all these exhaustive explanations about how many different things You are doing on a daily basis that I am so very clear are You, and not people or circumstances.....like giving me specific answers when questions arise, fixing details with our living situation......and clearing up issues and holding off troubles......You are moving in so many PERSONAL ways ever since I stopped trying to handle all these things going on with me and did what that pastor told me to do....PASS YOU THE BALL AND LET YOU KEEP IT.........and I said I passed you the ball, and I choose sometimes a hundred times a day to remember that and keep making sure I am hands off while I watch You, knowing You want to work these things out in my life, but You won't unless I let You, so I can see and know it's YOU and not me or anyone else....so that my faith gets stronger......and sure enough....there You are, all the time......in so many things.....
Lord, you are really busy in my life....Bless You.

Certainly I am still broken to my soul knowing my husband is separated from both of us right now and still working his problems out by escaping to drugs and that lifestyle altogether.....in a place where neither you or I are......As his wife, I am able to plead with you to watch over him, many angels assigned to his case and situation, Lord.....
I know that You are sovereign and have allowed, and that You will work this out....and that it may get worked out with him finding the small amount of strength to walk away and come ask for help....and that alternately, his physical life may perish in the circumstances.....which he has told me is his preference.....he specifically said he has no fight left in him and will never be ok here....and that he desires to enter into the next life....and I know he is saved and does not lose his salvation even though his actions are keeping him from enjoying a relationship with You at this time, because he has chosen to step away from You.....so, if he perishes, He will still have his eternal place in that He is saved already.....so, Lord, help me....be with me......and keep me .......while I watch this man I love take these risks.....You know this is my strongest emotional struggle with all that we are living through right now......My grief is so deep and to my soul and my anguish, tears, crying out and gut wrenching sobs are all through the day every day.......I cant control when it comes and certainly I want to let it come, because it is me being alive with a heart.
Noone smiles from their hearts anymore....only those who are close to the Lord are still smiling like that.....and alternately, the grieving and feelings and expression therein are going away in the bulk of humanity...for the love of many has grown cold.....
So thank you that I can not only grieve in near constant day and night circumstances....but that it is actually a witness to others......so many others that see me......in my brokenness......that it touches them, and may it begin revival in them.

I am waiting on you again today, Lord. I love you and Bless You....and thank you so much.......Lisa
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:14 am

Dear Jesus: Thank you for all you are doing in my life. I know you are working things out today. Forgive me those missteps I have taken, in that I want the ball back once in a while......help me trust you.....and remember not to trust what I see since what I see isn't all there is to see, and only you see everything and know all that is needed in the circumstances here.
Bless you, Lord Jesus.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Fri Mar 10, 2017 4:19 pm

Lisa

Just keep walking in God's presence. Remember that He is no more than an arm's length from you at all times and that it is okay for you to take a few steps by yourself along the pathway he is leading you along. But remember that it is also okay to reach out and take his hand at any time you feel the need to.

For me walking with God is being in a prayerful conversation with Him at all times, even if their are long pauses of silence between the words spoken in conversation. You are still in conversation and often there are long periods when nothing needs to happen in your life as the activity around your life is taking place in other people.

Shalom
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Mar 10, 2017 9:04 pm

Thank you, Jay.

Right now, there are overwhelmingly many, many, many changes and issues and things happening in my life and around me. I am having frequent panic attacks due to the number of things I am responsible for, but at the very same time, the number of people who are given almost super natural messages for me is overwhelming me, too...and that is a good thing and works for me in a good way.

A lot of change now....and a lot of new responsibilities....and almost always it feels like it's too much......and without almost constant contact with the Lord, I collapse into myself these days. I have these issues with my husband, but there are several other very critical things happening at the same time...and due to privacy issues, I cannot or don't want to spell those out, and it's not important.....

What is important here is my ministry....in my testimony......per my beautiful and awesome Lord. He reminded me a little while ago that I am right where I am supposed to be for NOW.....and I won't be here forever, because these trials were allowed by Him and He has a purpose with them......

While my emotions do not keep up, my mind, Bless the Lord, knows already......to give thanks in all things.....and it is well with my spirit to do so. I look forward to whats next on this thread as time passes....as it's just the story.....that will unfold....and tell the story.....of how our Lord is a Living God......
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:44 pm

Addiction is such a painful thing. I wrote this to my husband a little earlier. I'll never give it to him....he'll never come to see about me....and he doesn't want to know....but there are some people out there who are being touched by this same pain and so I'll empathize with you and commiserate and you can do the same with me. It is the emotions I am having so much trouble contending with. They just are.

Baby: The truth of this is utterly the most painful thing my emotions have ever known. I am so lonely right now, but I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything or see anyone.....ELSE.....I want you to come waltzing through the door and explain to me that you love me, you have always loved me, you loved me while we were apart, but your body craved and had such an even emotional attachment to the drugs that you had to leave even me......but you wont do it today, just like you wont do it any other day and you haven’t done it any day since you left. I can see more now that even in the last year when you were here, you were so distant because so much of you didnt want to be here, you wanted to be where the drugs were, where the people doing the drugs were....at and with that whole scene, and you were trapped in this house with boring ol’ me in the boring ol’ marriage.....and you felt like a caged animal. I am not empathizing with that because it hurts me absurdly to know that this is what the truth is, I am only trying to come to terms with it, and yet, my very soul cries out for you, because I just never fell out of love with you, even when you were so distant and angry and obviously unhappy. I cherished the sometimes happy moments we could have during that time and I honestly was oblivious to what was really going on with you.....and you never told me the truth because you were ashamed that this is how you were feeling....”it wasn’t right.’.....and no.....it wasnt......but it was what it was......
I am going to get up from this computer and go back to crying again, though, because that entire time then and even up to this very moment, I just wanted you to be happy with me and our marriage and our family......us......I wanted to be enough, and upside cocaine and everything else it comes with.....I just don’t even exist anymore. I have truly lost my husband, and I don’t think I did a thing to cause that....Had you died, it might be easier, because you wouldn’t be here on the planet.....but I would go to the end of the planet to get to you, because my love compels me so....and yet, you are somewhere just down the road and have been every single day, and the last place you are going to think to go is....here.....home....because you are no longer at home when you're here, and you likely never will be again.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:19 am

Yesterday wasn't all tough. Last night was tough.....and those of us having to let go of our addicts understand the intense pain involved. I got and read a book called "Hope Street"....its the story of another's process, and its a documentary of her journal while in it and all the way to the new life she has with her new family. In some respects, reading ahead, as it were, because 90% of us with marriages to addicts end , was very difficult (but there were some liberating ideas in it, meaning there were things in there she did that I am not yet doing that I could do and it might help me to let go, which is something that happens for everyone at a different pace.....and THAT is ok too). One day, I put my wedding ring on and it makes me feel better, the next day I put it in the vault and walk away from it, feeling like a fool for having worn it the day before.

God IS working in my life constantly.....and I don't know what is going to happen with my husband, he has free will, as God gave that to all of us.....I know, because the Lord has showed me in my intimate walk with Him, so many things about where my husband is (emotionally, spiritually, physically).....but my depending on the Lord to "fix this thing" with my husband is NOT what my walk with the Lord is about. What He's going to "fix" and make better than it ever was before is ME.....and that's because I have turned to Him and chosen to walk side by side with Him. This is not new for me, as it may be for others, as I have been a Christian for many years......but it is RENEWED in some ways for me, because I have been sidetracked and distracted with life (as some of us are guilty of at times)....and so I am enjoying the refreshment of the LIVING GOD being so present with me and being who He shows us in His Scriptures that He is.
HE will work things out in my life in a mighty way.....I have 100% certainty about that.....
What I don't have, because my husband has free will, is 100% certainty that the way it's going to be worked out has anything whatsoever to do with my husband.

Today, Lord, I am waiting for you and I am so grateful that you are walking alongside me, right here with me, and that you are in control and have it all under control. I know I am praying day and night and would apologize for wearing you out with my constant prayers, but Jesus said "pray ceaselessly" and I am, and so unlike the ways of the world, I know my prayers are a joy and pleasure for you, even if they are the raw truth of my feelings......a lot......Thank you so much and I adore you and love you and cherish and praise you....BLESS YOU LORD.....BLESS YOU..... :bowing:
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:52 am

I confess today to be losing heart with respect to alot of things not related to my husband at all. Yesterday was a terrible day and all the stressors that have nothing to do with my husband and a lot to do with why he turned to drugs and me to anger in the first place, came up.
Lord, it is my desire to walk away from all of these people, and you know why. Those who could have helped me, for the past two years they could have helped me....continue to want to get involved in my life and tell me how to "fix" my problems, but the help I know I genuinely need and ask them for, still, two years later, they will not act on the love they profess for me....giving me a chance to gather my wits about myself and catch my breath.
Then there is she who has a mental illness and that "target" on me.... Lord, I see that she desperately wants my approval, or for me to give her everything she wants, and then she turns around, and when I set a boundary, it gets absurd and literally crazy.
Relief these burdens in my life, please Jesus. Holy Spirit, please move mighty here and allow me to be free of this in any way possible. Show me how to walk away from toxic people and to help the other get on her own two feet. Help her to see the importance of changing for the benefit of herself. In Christ' name I pray. Amen.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Mar 14, 2017 8:30 am

Relief Lord, please.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Tue Mar 14, 2017 3:34 pm

Receive it by faith, and thank your God that it is already happening even if you cannot yet see the results of the relief that you desire. When it comes it will surprise you by its extent.

Abraham's acceptance by faith of the promises that God had made to him was counted to him as righteousness.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:04 pm

For anyone following this thread, I have a new prayer request to add on here.
The main reason my husband turned to drugs was the degree of difficulty we had raising our child. She has been very complex and we had a wrong diagnosis that we were working from, so we never got services we actually should have gotten a long time ago.
Since my husband left, both my daughter and I have been seeing doctors and both of our doctors have diagnosed her now. My diagnosis is PTSD due to severe stress, and my husband is only one corner of it....
My daughter for sure has borderline personality disorder and is very sick with it, but it could be schizophrenia....they are committed to the borderline now, but due to the many issues going on, that may change.
She is happy my husband is gone because she has me all to herself....BUT.....at this point, it's getting dangerous and my safety is at issue. We (me and doctors) are taking steps in this regard, but I ask that you all pray for my safety and for her to be stabilized....the stress is unreal in my life. I am just so overwhelmed and now I've lost the person who helped me cope...because he just couldn't anymore.....
:cry:
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby sacredcowbasher on Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:41 pm

:praying:
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby burien1 on Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:34 am

Lisa, I have learned that sometimes all I can do is hold on to HIM for dear life. :hugs:
:praying:
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Abiding in His Word on Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:09 am

burien1 wrote:Lisa, I have learned that sometimes all I can do is hold on to HIM for dear life.


:a3:

That's first and foremost...but encouragement, strength, and help can be found through numerous sources; i.e. support groups, neighbors, friends, church communities, and hotlines that can provide options and resources that are available in your area.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:24 am

She is 17 now, so she has to seek help on her own, and so far, all she wants is this therapy with the doctor she is seeing. It is very possible that in the future, since she has such a hard time with her perceptions, she will do something that will force additional help she needs. On Monday, she was very predatory and stalking me and due to the severe abandonment concerns this personality type has, could not imagine allowing us to separate for things to cool down (this has been ongoing for years).....BUT Monday she carried around a screw driver the entire day.....I am not sure if she wanted to be sure to protect herself from me or if she was keeping her options open.....and certainly when I mentioned it, she got more agitated, so I just let it go.......and maybe I am sharing too much here......but all of us do need the prayers and yes, Abiding, I am getting support from the two doctors we use as well as by other resources. The bottom line is, many people with this disorder do eventually do something that lands them in jails or institutions and if anything happens, I will do my best to get her medical help as opposed to just sitting in a jail.....but please keep praying us through this....and thank you for your prayers.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:44 pm

Lisa, May the Lord God also draw your daughter to Himself, as well as your husband and you. That this process will continue until all are peacefully resting in God's arms.

Shalom
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:18 pm

Its hard to believe that just yesterday I prayed for relief and today, I have another testimony of personal contact from the Lord. Last night on my way to see my Dr. I cried and prayed the whole way there. I asked the Lord for relief and lamented that I did not know even how to think or see things and my emotional burdens over my husband were too great.
Today, I got relief....in a very personal way. I cannot say how, because it would break someone's anonymity, but the Lord made it possible for someone who knows every single detail of my husband's life since he left to call me and tell me everything. While it was hard to hear some of what I heard, and while the fact remains that my husband is very sick and not in his right mind, the details given to me today over not one, but two phone calls from this person gave me much needed relief to gain a more realistic perspective.
God took circumstances and used a little nudge in someone to answer my prayers of yesterday.

Many may think this is coincidence, and I get it, but I know it was God. I am certain of the prayers and the circumstances that caused this person to call me.....and the fact that it was indeed a perfect collision.....A GOD THING.

There is so much I can't fix, change, make new, renew......tolerate, stand, bear.....and so on.

BUT....again.....and this is so critical to the reader who is participating because they are in the storms like me......God is the only certain thing any of us has in this world. We can marry the most perfect person, healthy......all things lining up perfect....and something like this happen in the course of our life....it's just a fact......But God is constant, reliable, trustworthy, loves us, wants to be with us....and if WE can get over blaming Him for our misfortunes, or lacking faith to even give Him a chance to be a personal part of our life....if we can step out in faith and praise Him (might be tiny at first, but every time He shows He is right there with you, you're going to get louder and praise stronger....it's just something that is fact).......

There is NOTHING like walking thru life with the LIVING GOD....the One who is PRESENT with us.......

No, I didn't hear what I wanted to hear today....and that's life....a fact of it.....

but again today.....to KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW that this was God answering my prayers.....Oh, Bless Jesus Holy Name.....I praise You Lord...and I thank you.....Peace be unto you and thank you that you bring me the peacefulness I prayed you bring me. Peace unto my home, unto all who are here, pets and people alike, and those that come and when they leave, may they know that Your peace is upon this house, dear God....in Jesus Blessed and Beautiful and Faithful Name I pray and I thank you because it has been done according to YOUR LOVE for me and your faithfulness unto me.....BLESS YOU CHRIST JESUS. Amen.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:11 am

GOD SHOWED UP AGAIN TODAY.......VERY PERSONAL.

SO I don't know if I told you the IRS has been trying to take my house in all of this going on, because when I had my spine injury, we accrued a good many liabilities, medical bills and a house under construction that we didn't have financing for (and could have finished ourselves had all things remained the same, but instead I got a MASSIVE spine injury which created HUGE problems and wide reaching implications).

Anyway, the field agent I have been working with simply took the position that there was no need for them to do a payment plan with me when I own this house and they could just take it.....so we've been trying to pack and get it put on the market and so much more all while all of this other BIG STUFF has been happening at the same time.

I have been calling my field agent for about two weeks now, as he told me to call him end of Feb. with an update. He called this morning WHILE I HAVE BEEN WITNESSING TO MY HUSBAND WHO HAS COME TO TALK......and God stepped in, and did His God Thing.....and I had already witnessed to my husband about what he, my husband needed, and what God was doing in my life, by showing up every day like He has been.

Bottom line, my file is on hold at the IRS, NO FURTHER ACTION OF ANY KIND except I need to call him back in a month and tell him what I have done towards getting the house on the market etc. since our last phone call. ....and the timing....I mean, I have been calling this guy for 2 solid weeks and right when I am witnessing to my husband about God's DAILY activities in my life.....another one happens.

If you're reading my thread.....please.....don't think this is a coincidence....it's what happens when you turn to the LIVING GOD with your life.....give Him the ball......and watch Him unravel the broken pieces of your life.

Today, at least for me, will be a shout and praise all day long kind of day.......... :a2:

Jesus is EVERYTHING !!!!! You just gotta get past all the stuff in your head....doubt, fear, blaming God....and learn to trust Him and give Him the kind of chance you'de like someone to give you if you knew that you would do anything to help them......because you know you are trustworthy....God deserves so much more, don't get me wrong....but if you have trouble envisioning God as being personal in our lives here and now, which a lot of people do.....I am only suggesting that you give God what we so freely (and sometimes unwisely) give each other in terms of our confidence. Go to God with confidence that you want this kind of experience I am having now and recommit yourself to a daily constant walk with Him (if you've never committed, get saved, get info on how and do that and then walk side by side ON PURPOSE and watch this happen in your life just like it's happening in mine.....EXPECT GOD TO SHOW UP.....HE IS GOING TO! HE LOVES YOU)......
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:35 am

Its hard to get up every day and not obsess about the things that trouble me......but since I've been doing this walk with the LIVING GOD.....it's gotten so much easier for me to have real acceptance....nomatter the outcome.....because regardless of who is in my life....how much....to what extent....be it my daughter, my husband, family members, friends....all of them......
I am walking CLOSELY with the LIVING GOD now and I just don't struggle like I used to. Sure, my emotions can get everywhere, but I get back to God, giving Him my anguish, grief and questions...and HE gives me back real answers to what I need or want to know....and.....
At the end of the day, nomatter who comes or goes, stays or leaves....and there will be real reasons why they stay or leave, or why I can only have "this much" of a relationship with this one and "that much" of a relationship with the other one.....
God remains and will stay, because I pushed out all the distrust, lack of faith, anger.....everything....and just simply surrendered.....
So, now that I have the Lord in me with me and all in control of everything me.....my understanding is astonishing....far beyond what I see other people spitting out of their mouths....and I don't even need to take all my problems to other people anymore....I take them to God, He works with them and gives me understanding and so much peace in the midst of these storms...and all of a sudden.....not only can I live with any outcome....I understand why "if this" happens....then the best thing for me to do is NOT be deeply involved with "that person".....or if "that happens" why I can stay the course with "that person".....and so forth.

Nomatter what happens with me and others around me, God isn't going anywhere and as long as I keep my eyes on Him, He sorts out the details of all my relationships and even has me understanding with perfect PEACE where good fits for me and where not so good fits are.....so, the pain goes away and is replaced with understanding and peace that surpasses all any and every human being combined I have tried to sort my problems out with did.

This is not to say that I don't need these relationships and to continue to share with trusted people....of course I do.....God isn't doing it all for me....but God IS doing the heavy lifting and even working through the people that are a part of this journey I am on which is NOT problems for here and now....but this Journey I am on is.....my life, my way of life, until it is done and I can hear from my Father in Heaven.....well done, my good and faithful servant.

With love today for all of you and most especially our Living God and.....for me, too.

Lisa
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:41 am

"The way you discover your destiny is by locating the One who knows where it is."
Dr. Tony Evans, 1-31-17 :grin:

This is Dr. Tony Evan's sermon called Your future and your destiny, preached January 31, 2017. If this link doesn't work for some reason, search out sermons for Dr. Tony Evans, and find his sermon on January 31, 2017 and listen .....to be blessed.....



http://tonyevans.org/your-future-and-your-destiny/
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Mar 19, 2017 11:16 am

I want to update you all on my personal journey, because it's so incredible, walking with our Living God.....there is so much to tell, and if you live by faith, as I am, right now, you really don't have stress as the world knows stress....every element that is bad and destructive for us....stress, anxiety, worry, fear......those "things"......they are all replaced with one word......FAITH.
This is not my message today.....and actually my first sentence said I wanted to update you on my journey, but the Lord has given me specific instruction and it almost looks like I am going to derail, I am so "in the mood" to talk about our beautiful and wonderful Lord.....How He is moving in me.....How He is moving in my life....

But He had another set of instructions for me today about what He wants me to put on my testimony thread.....and so I am only honored that He would speak to me and give me a chance to do anything He is asking of me .....

The Lord wants me to post a message....I do not know if it is for someone specific who needs these words and is going to read them today or some other day (appointed time)......but I feel it is......these are your instructions.



We who are Saints, inheritors of the Kingdom of God and thereby royalty.....We DO NOT fight our battles in the flesh. We fight our battles in the Spirit, and that fight begins by cleaning our house of unrepented sin before Him, and then by submitting or resubmitting to Him our Wills and our Lives, and then laying our troubles at the altar before our Heavenly Father Christ Jesus. Once that is done, we are beginning to fight our battle the way the born again fight battles.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:39 am

Today is another beautiful day walking in the Peace and Perfect Contentment with the Lord. While things in my life are still in disarray at various levels (small, medium and larger problems and feelings and situations exist).....I am at perfect peace and happy.....HAPPY.....OF ALL THINGS....who would have thought.

I can say (and for anyone who has been dealing with addiction, it gets this way for those who love addicts, because of the unmanageability of it all).......I can say that for the past two years there has not been much happiness.....not at all.....I have had to stretch (almost hurt myself doing so) to find any peace, any joy in life....anything......I was completely lost even though I still loved the Lord....that is probably the only thing that kept my feet on the ground, because my head was really out there......

But today....and this is so important....Nomatter who may come and go, stay or not stay in MY LIFE....The Lord is here to stay and I will take the rest as it comes, because my walk is not with humans as much as it is with the Lord. Humans have free will and may or may not walk with me....and that includes spouses, children, parents, other family members and even friends.....

I am so relieved and actually happy....smiling.....living......alive.....it's just beautiful to be alive today, all because of Christ, who truly strengthens me, provides for me, and has PROVEN to me that I can depend on Him....if I just maintain a relationship with Him and put all my trust in Him.

The titanic sunk, but not everyone died...so even though, in my past, I changed seats on the titanic over and over again, I have now been rescued from the bitter cold water and given NEW LIFE.....and abundantly.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby sacredcowbasher on Tue Mar 21, 2017 3:51 pm

Praise God Lisa, very glad to hear what is going on. It tells of His faithfulness and goodness and love.
:banana:
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Tue Mar 21, 2017 6:38 pm

I have now been rescued from the bitter cold water and given NEW LIFE.....and abundantly.


So wonderful to hear this!

Praising God with you! :a3:

RT
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 22, 2017 11:21 am

https://www.twr360.org/programs/33/series_id,19017

This is one of the BEST sermons series I've heard in a long time (and I love his recent series on detours, too, fwiw).
This is a link to Dr. Tony Evan's sermon series entitled Living above the Circumstances.
Scroll down to the oldest sermon (preached one day after another) and listen your way to the top.

My husband has come and gone and I am staying the course. How can I tolerate this now when I couldn't before? A close and personal relationship with the LIVING GOD. I see so much ....not with my eyes.....with my spirit.

I am being set free and my husband is still in bondage....the difference is I have surrendered my life to Christ and he hasn't. TO BE CLEAR....I AM NOT IN BONDAGE WITH HIM....HE IS IN BONDAGE.....
Today, nomatter who comes and who goes in my life.....I AM FREE.....and living, walking by faith, and breathing alongside the Living God.....what everyone around me is doing.....I wish they would come along, but they have free will....and since I do, too.....and I am the only one who has control over me.....I am living without fear, grief, strife, anger, .....sure....I am hurting.....I want the husband I married and I miss him terribly....and I don't have assurances where he is concerned....he is operating out of his free will and doing things against himself and me, as his wife....so while God's Grace will always be there for him when he gets ready....the grace I may be left able to extend to him may be limited to love for him as a person and no longer as a wife.....You see, I know that when he is using drugs, he is with women who are doing the same, and that is too much for me to tolerate emotionally, and maintain OUR love on my own while he does not.....and I have to love myself thru this, and cannot love the darkness he is living in while I am in the light.....
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:14 pm

I gotta add.....blew my mind.....The sermon called REVERSING GENERATIONAL CURSES......
BLEW MY MIND.

Everyone should be sure to listen to this entire series, but WOW...this particular one blew me away.
Also, I learned something in that sermon that made where my husband is and what he is doing all that much more detestable to me. It gave words from scripture that matched what I said in my above post, where I've been telling my husband that he is in darkness and I am in light and we are not evenly yoked now.

This sermon showed where this "old testament" stuff about Generational Curses is in the new testament....1 Corenthians Chapter 10.....BUT....what blew my mind (starting verse 18) is that it says THINGS SACRIFICED TO IDOLS , the person doing that is literally sacrificing to demons....IN FELLOWSHIP WITH DEMONS.....and then in Chapter 11 it says You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and partake at the table of demons........CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.....YOU MUST CHOOSE.

I think this is appropriate for me to follow where he is concerned with me.....I am in fellowship with the Lord and he keeps coming and going, partaking with demons and then coming back to the light in me and in our home....I am going to force the choice for my own sake ....now, or very soon......

Just working this out with the help of the Lord and those who serve Him.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Mar 22, 2017 12:18 pm

He told me that he has not felt the Lord in himself in the past few years.....doesn't surprise me as I look at all of this....because he hasn't been fellowshipping in truth with the Lord.....and I have.....and we have had a hard time with each other due to this....difficulty in finding ways and things to talk about.....
He DETESTED when I talked about end times things or ...and really.....even things I learned about the Lord or in scriptures and so forth....BORED HIM......but if I talked about football or anything of his interest....television shows, so forth....he lit up like a Christmas Tree.
I didn't see then what I am seeing now.

I truly and earnestly meant till death do us part and I never have let go of that.....but the truth is....he has......and even if he didn't mean to do that where I am concerned.....in his life and lifestyle.....it has been done and us undone.....
I want him to return, but I have no control over him and what he is choosing or going to choose.....

only in what I choose for myself.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Wed Mar 22, 2017 2:27 pm

Lisa, may you know God's peace in the Godly decisions that you are making and the boundaries of God that you are surrounding yourself with to maintain your relationship with Him, no matter how difficult they may seem to you at this present time. May you continue to be drawn to the Lord and that this drawing of yourself to Him never be broken in this present lifetime of yours.

May the Lord also continue to be drawing both your husband and your daughter to Himself and that the Lord will give you the wisdom of what and when to speak to them and when to remain silent and just love them for who they are, lost people from the Lord whom the Lord is drawing to Himself in His own timing. Trusting the Lord in this is the hardest thing that we are tested with and remaining silent when the Lord tells us to is even harder for us to do as it requires us to be really trusting him in all things.

Shalom

PS: - Keep giving thanks for the Lord's break through in both of their lives, even though you may not be seeing any evidence of those breakthroughs at this present time. It is by faith that we trust the Lord for His outworking of our prayers and that faith/trust is found in our thanking Him for the future outworking in His own time. He has already heard your prayers for them both and is already working on it.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:48 am

Hi Jay: Your words are timely as this morning I got up thinking on these things and after I fixed my coffee, I sat at my computer and noticed there was activity on this thread, so I opened it up, and the words you shared helped settle my mind and get me on track for today.....so an earnest thank you for taking the time to share them with me.

My husband was home for a full week, detoxing and sleeping almost around the clock, but when he would wake, we would talk, and he was promising to do the intensive outpatient (pretty much 5 hrs every day of the week) program we have nearby. He also asked me to recombine our life (auto policy had been split due to him being gone, etc), since he was home to stay.....Then, out of the blue for me (maybe not so much for him), I had somewhere to go and when I returned, he was gone, and has been gone since, with no word from him.

When I came home and realized he was gone (I had expected dinner since that was our plan...he was going to grill the chicken).....the Lord spoke two words to me as I walked into the door of my house.....STAY THE COURSE.....that was His instruction to me. I am and have been working on a few things with myself....like complete abstinence from sugar.....it's a drug to me since I am a diabetic.....and I have loved my sweet tea, but I promised my husband we would both do everything we could to live well for ourselves and each other, and I gave up my tea and anything else with sugar in it in order to meet that goal. I am still on course.....I did not need "feed feelings" or do anything else destructive as a result of my husband's choices......I am walking with the Living God regardless of circumstances....it is my choice....and God spoke to me......which is SUCH A BLESSING.....THANK YOU LORD THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME AND ALLOWING ME TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU IN THE MIDST OF MY LIFE AND TRIALS....BLESS YOUR HOLY NAME.....YOU ARE FAITHFUL, YOU ARE WORTHY, AND I LOVE AND ADORE YOU.....YOU ARE THE GOD OF PEACE AND YOU BRING PEACE UNTO MY LIFE.....BLESS YOUR HOLY NAME.......

I have never eaten much, so even though I have had my own sugar addiction going, I have been able to maintain the same weight (I do have extra). I am now losing the extra and getting healthier....it was my goal and promise to my husband....to give him my absolute best me......

I have to share this. From the time I made that promise to my husband and turned from sugar and unhealthy eating of all kinds, I have been FINE......no severe headaches, withdrawals.....only very modest cravings or temptations.....(saw some m&Ms and almost stuck my hand in the bag, but I remembered the Lord's words to me and CHOSE TO stay the course. I turned and walked from the bag of M&Ms and had no regrets.....My desire to eat them was only about my rebellion to my husband's actions and my wanting to destroy our good plans....not because I was truly craving sugar.

Sugar is one of the most addictive substances on this earth.......There is a reason I am talking about this right now.....read this.....


According to a new research study, refined sugar is far more addictive than cocaine -- one of the most addictive and harmful substances currently known.

An astonishing 94 percent of rats who were allowed to choose mutually-exclusively between sugar water and cocaine, chose sugar. Even rats who were addicted to cocaine quickly switched their preference to sugar, once it was offered as a choice. The rats were also more willing to work for sugar than for cocaine.

The researchers speculate that the sweet receptors (two protein receptors located on the tongue), which evolved in ancestral times when the diet was very low in sugar, have not adapted to modern times’ high-sugar consumption.


http://articles.mercola.com/sites/artic ... caine.aspx

I have heard of stories of others giving God their addictive substances, be they drugs, porn, sugar, cigarettes....whatever.....laying these on the altar, walking away and never looking back.........
I never had ENOUGH FAITH to even consider something like that.....and to be honest, I think I had doubts when I heard those stories......not huge doubts, but there was something in the back of my mind....looking back.......

I have had periods of my life when I walked closely with the Lord, this is not the first time I have truly turned to Him. I have been with the Lord for many years....since my 20s.....by my own choice.....and it's all been wonderful.....but this time, and given the place I was at, and sermons I heard telling me to give it all to Him again.....this time has been very intense all the way around......and in every way, and on every level, God has shown up and as some like to say when this happens.....shown out.......

I don't doubt Him at all, and I am not doubting me, either.....I am trusting Him fully as best I can, and when I slip in the process, I repent (if needed), and or just get back to trusting Him fully again......all day, every day.......and I have His Peace in me.......I just do.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Mar 23, 2017 6:00 am

Jay: I KNOW your words are wise because honestly, the other thing the Lord told me was that in my husband's life, the next thing that needs to happen is between the Lord and my husband.

My husband and I resolved our differences in profound ways (marriage counseling on steroids) this last week....without the help of a marriage counselor, we had outstanding conversations about our entire time together and we worked through all that has happened between us and we got back to a 100% solid place with each other. The fact that he left again, without notice, I KNOW is not because of anything between him and me......my husband and I were on the perfect page together.....all of our conversations over the past week flowed like milk and honey and I know with 100% certainty, that he and I were at the most spectacular place and so many wonderful and profound discussions and emotions got shared between us.

This current relapse is about him.....and ultimately, as it is for all of humanity......about his separation from God, which must be repaired first before he and I stand a chance at our marriage vows to each other.

God told me last night that the next thing for my husband does not involve me....that the next thing is my husband must be restored to His Creator....and God has to be given the chance to "show up and show out" in his life now....which God will do.....so the next step for my husband is to seek Him, the Lord.......and restore himself unto the Lord......

Will he?

He earnestly needs all our prayers.

My daughter....she is still working on herself in some ways.....but she is using drugs again (she smokes pot)......she even did it in my house over this past weekend. Our doctors are telling me to let her learn her lessons at this point and just love her to the Lord.....their advice is right, because she is at the age where she has and is taking control of her life with no consideration to me as her parent.....so now I must watch her struggle until she chooses the Lord as well......and FAST AND PRAY.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:18 pm

I only pray or speak when prompted and only what is given to speak to encourage you to hold the course in your situation.

It is our dependent response within our situation that God is seeking. Even of the "wise" ones as well. We are all no different from each other in this as we need to be fully dependent on God in all things. It can actually be more difficult for the "wise" ones to do this than it is for you. We can know what to do, tell others what they should be doing, but be relucent to follow our own wisdom because we too "like to be in control" of our own lives and not be fully dependent on God.

It is our challenge as well, we are no different in our need. It is what we all need to be working on together to encourage each other to stay the course. Remember that Abraham waited for God's Promise of a Son for more than twenty-five years and probably more like fifty years before Isaac was born. Instant coffee fulfilment has a lot to answer for.

Shalom
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Mar 30, 2017 2:22 pm

:praying:
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Fri Mar 31, 2017 2:56 am

GodsStudent wrote: :praying:

You are not alone in this need to be looking at being able to bless others with your wise prayers of asking God to draw those on your heart to Him in His own particularly suitable way.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:06 am

There are lots of positive changes with both my husband and my daughter.
My daughter has started praying with me and is receptive and wanting to get a better prayer life now since her best friend tried to commit suicide. We prayed together and it is our prayers and conversations about remembering what we prayed for and seeing the evidence that our prayers were answered that is moving her now. It's most amazing and encouraging to see this happening with her. She is also getting so wise to the detrimental effects of drugs and alcohol after having to see it with her father, so her opinion of them is changing significantly, and in many good ways. I am thrilled and amazed at how the Lord is working things out with her, as these changes are products of serious challenges to her and things she will never forget as she continues to grow up.

My husband got an ultimatum from me last Friday (that's how he describes it, lol). He came home the same day, and is ready in heart now to commit to a long term rehab. There is some resistance which is literally created by the cravings and urge to use, and he is unsure of going through the long withdrawal process involved. That said, it is LOVE that pulls him through, and at some point in the very near future, I want to share resources that the Lord led me to and through which taught me what was going on with him in depth and enabled me to approach him in a very different way than I ever had in the past. What those resources did was enable us to open up the dialogue and get him to openly talk to me about what is happening in his mind, without feeling pressure and most especially judgment/more condemnation/shame, which is common with this issue.

I have been listening to Dr. Tony Evans series on addictions, which he calls (and says the bible calls) strongholds. He says there is a place in New Jersey that is a Christian based recovery program, I think it's about 6 months, and we are going to look into that first. While I know the 12 step program is effective, we believe this is the time for my husband to reconnect with Christ and clean out the strongholds in his closet so that he can walk with the Lord again, and we want a program that speaks to where things went wrong in his walk and reteaches him to have that close walk with the Lord, again.....
That said, I am NOT bashing the 12 step programs, I am not making any comment towards them, actually, only speaking to what we feel is best for our family.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:32 pm

:praise: this one works but I really wanted this one :hallelujah:
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Apr 06, 2017 5:02 am

I said I wanted to share some of what I feel the Lord led me to learn from in my research on addiction and how it is that I....let me say that again......I ....I.....I.....I ......got to this place MYSELF first, before engaging my husband. Of course, the first and foremost was for me to begin to walk lockstep with the Lord. I am sure I've said above, but it's worth saying again that this thing is so painful for me (was/is) that I had to cut out a lot of talking with others a whole lot and take it straight to the Lord with others, as directed, such as my trained doctor (therapist) and a very few trusted friends who would listen and not feel the need to run me over with their "thoughtful words of encouragement and opinions." My doctor said that is why I trusted the few friends that I did trust...because they ACTIVE LISTENED....to me. My doctor says we don't listen to each other anymore in our culture and society. We are chomping at the bit to talk before the other person is even finished speaking which is a sure sign we aren't listening to them close enough to hear the small, but powerful things they are saying, because we think we know what they're saying already.....not true often.

The Lord put together a few powerful teachings for me that helped me to see the addict much differently than our society sees them, and than I was seeing him. I am here to testify that it literally changed everything about how I approached him. The first time my husband came home, it was for 6 days, then he literally left with only the shirt on his back, to use....it was unplanned and unexpected, but I was VERY satisfied with how I had approached him during the time he had been here....and ultimately, I knew and know the powerful effects of the relationship between the addict and their drug of choice.....think about it.....how many do we know whose drug of choice is SUGAR......PORN......or who have unhealthy relationships with all sorts of things?????......alcohol, caffeine, tobacco....the list goes on and on.....
Anyway, after such a great week together (though he was feeling rotten).....a lot of his using reasons were disassembled....and it did make a difference in him as he stayed gone another 10 days.....When I finally felt compelled to get in touch with him, and I told him that I couldn't live like this anymore....he had been enticed enough by what had happened between us that first week that he wasn't the hopeless mess he had been previously.

He wants, very much, the life we discuss every day, and are living now. Also, he and I talk about things....feelings.....etc....things he had completely shut down from doing with me before. I attribute the things the Lord taught me about addicts and addiction, which literally changed how I saw him and dealt with him, to helping us both get more grounded....and it started with me.....I think that's important to note....the change has to start with the non addicted person.......but it is a put your money where your mouth is kind of proposition, because you have to get in touch with love, what it is, how to do it....accepting the next person precisely where they are and loving them from that place in a healthy way......and recognizing that their decision to stop using is likely looming...no one wants to be an addict.....but I literally respect that this is my husband's decision and I have hands off. He has used once since he came home and it could happen again.....but that is him going thru his process and reaching his own goals......it was one time and not a week or a month of every day.....and I handled it with GRACE.......Scripture teaches that Grace enters when the inner weapons of bitterness, anger and rebellion are laid at Christ's feet.....for those who mourn will be comforted (matt 5: 4) and the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to the poor in Spirit (Matt: 5:3).
After using that one time, many changes were effectuated in him, without me doing anything besides continuing to love him. He is getting stronger and his focus is more on his life with the Lord, his family and himself, whole as he has been in the past. He is beginning to desire this much more than the pitiful (to him!) place drugs takes him, and he is deciding that HE IS ABLE to withstand the terrible withdrawals as a result of the using, because they are a byproduct of a PAST for him, and his future is not going to include "all of that." Don't get me wrong, he may relapse again, but I WILL STAY THE COURSE WITH HIM. I have his commitment that he will come home every night....and as long as I have that HUGE offering, the rest is in process. I will stay the course and love him through the process of moving himself and his mindset back to the power of Love that is unfolding every day in our home. The natural result will be that Love will win.....period. I can see that now...and it's not openly taught everywhere and in recovery programs in quite this way.....and honestly, without MY BEING LOCKSTEP with the Lord, I am not sure this will be effective for others as it has been with me and with us....because I literally changed in dramatic ways FIRST....and those changes in me helped facilitate the changes in him......our entire family is shifting to a healthier way of living and being.

I literally listened to almost every video this man has on Youtube. This one is the first I listened to.....and there are others besides this man, but for this morning, I am going to share his video and would like to say, his videos and his books are astonishingly powerful tools to positive change.
His name is Gabor Mate.
He is British, I think.
Start with this one, but if the reader here is going thru something as powerful as what I have been going thru, I do recommend the rest of his videos. He repeats some stuff on other videos which was perfectly fine with me, I needed to be reminded and taught and was willing to listen to it more than once to get the other nuggets within each video.

Gabor Mate: Attachment, Disease, and Addiction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cvEa5qFQc
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Thu Apr 06, 2017 5:44 am

After posting the above, and reading my post as it focuses on what is going on with my husband a lot, I wanted to add, in balance, that I also bought the audible version of Melody Beatty's book, Codependent no More, and I listened to that, too....Loving one's self is important....loving one's spouse, child, significant in any way other person is important, too.

I have no criticisms for anyone I post about here as a viable resource in my own journey. I am not wiling to make comments on whether I agree or disagree that this one left their spouse, this one handled their problem this way or that....the fact is, at the time we do what we think is best and right, and we learn from our choices....all of us. For me, the vows I made to a once healthy man plagued me as did the potential of prematurely breaking them, so I was driven to do all I could to attempt to avoid that. It was on that premise that I approached the Lord with my requests and turned myself and my family life over to Him. That was my choice and these are the results of those prayers and choices, as they exist today. I think it is also important to note that once in process with the Lord, I learned a whole lot about how I, the non addict, contributed to the unhealthy way our relationship and family life became. So, I needed to change, too.

I don't have to agree with everything anyone says in order to respect their right to feel the way they do and take what I can from their opinion, to learn and grow from. I don't have to do exactly what any other person did in order to benefit from their teachings......and in learning as I have and sticking with the Lord (and the vows I made to my own husband), I am overwhelmed at the "payoff" I am seeing even if it's not the perfect thing so many expect......day one. It's growing and changing in so many positive and fulfilling (deeply) ways.....and I am glad to be sticking it out.....My husband and I both feel that the best for us is yet to come and the love we are sharing now is most powerful......astonishingly so.

The same is to be said for our child. She had an unhealthy home and while she does have a mental illness that affects a lot with her, the sheer stability in her parents is stabilizing and nurturing her, and as a result, she is settling down and making some great choices. My doctor says that no one in a family unit changes without forcing change in everyone else in the household....that's deep....and it's also true.....so when we change in positive ways, we will see positive results in everyone in the family.

I have listened to a lot of things and read a lot of things and I will post these resources as time permits and as my discussion on this journey unfolds. I cant put it all down in one neat post....it is a process......
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:00 pm

He is still clean, Bless our Beautiful Heavenly Father for all He has done to bring restoration and sanity and renewal in our lives. Our daughter is also doing so much better these days. She has met a really neat young man who has his head on his shoulders and has helped her to get her priorities straighter, too. These days, there is much for us to be thankful for and I cannot praise our Beautiful Father enough for all He has done to help everyone in our family draw near to Him and be blessed with the peace that comes when we do that.
My husband is still on the waiting list for a Christian recovery program that is strictly bible based (no 12 step). I couldn't be more excited and happy for him as he's never had anything like this happen in his life before. In my opinion, drugs (and other strongholds like porn, overeating, etc) are symptoms of the pain and dysfunction in the lives and hearts of people, and many don't really get a chance to stop and look at where all of this comes from and how to work through these things and work with the Living God to become stabilized and content within themselves. My husband spends a lot of time each day listening to sermons and working on his relationship with the Lord, but there is a lot in his background that I know causes him internal pain and strife, and without taking the time needed to look at those things and come to terms, I suspect he would always be ill at ease and wanting to retreat from what goes through his mind.
I know for me that without the years in therapy and looking at (and learning/knowing how to look at) all of the dysfunction that has been in my life, I would be in the same boat as he, so I also know that once that gets done with qualified people (QUALIFIED PEOPLE.......which is why I personally feel that much of the 12 step etal programs out there can be useful, but not extremely successful....only my opinion).....he will have so much more peace with the things that have happened in his life.
God has put an amazing doctor in our lives (he's in his 80s and profoundly giving and loving of people), and I see my husband responding as we go to our therapy sessions. While that is great, my husband needs to work one on one with someone who can help him better understand that while people in his life gave their best and tried to be good to him, they were working with what they had, and some of it was very abusive...and he developed mechanisms for coping that weren't healthy....and he is still in pain even though what happened is done and over with. Also, he developed beliefs and defenses that keep him from really experiencing healthy love here and now......
So, I am excited that he will be working with pastors (each student in the minimum 4 month program he will attend is assigned their own pastor who is trained to work with them in psychotherapy as well as teach them from scripture).....and I look forward to seeing the man my husband will become through this process.

My daughter is still working with her doctor here, too. God really came through for her, too!!!!! Her doctor is perfect for her personality and she is sticking with him......I am so thankful for all God has done for all of us......so thankful!
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:18 am

Praise God! Lisa it sure sounds like He is working a miracle in your family! I will pray along the lines that you have shared, that His work will continue without any opposition from the enemy.

RT
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:14 am

:angel: Bless you, my sweet friend and sister in Christ.
Last night, my husband and I sang praise and worship songs together for hours.....HOURS....
This morning he woke up before me and when I walked around the corner he told me he was thinking on last night and smiling and so content. He feels really good right now...and it's Christ in him.
He really felt his praises last night and was so thankful that things are turning out this way....he said that things could have gone a whole lot different....and he's right.
God didn't give up on either of us.....because God NEVER does that. The most wonderful thing though, is that in the midst of these trials, I was able to go to Him and He restored and is restoring still......that is where so many people get off track. I've said before that I had to stop talking to so many people, they were trying, but I needed to hear from the Lord pretty much only for a space......and I will always say that in any crisis, this is the only way to handle the problems.....it IS all the difference in the world.....
and last night, I tried with failed words, to tell my husband about my own experience.....Having the Living God carry me, literally, through those dark days....showing up every single day to meet me and get me through......it's not something I will ever forget. I've talked with friends before about the fact that I or they don't feel extremely closely connected to the Lord, because He just isn't there at that time.....but then at other times, He is so visible and RIGHT THERE.....it's an experience that is so profound nothing will ever touch it....to know that the Living God loves and cares about us that much......and has everything under control ......that (I've said this before) FAITH replaces every other word we can think of....fear, worry, doubt......all of them.....
God is AWESOME!
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby shorttribber on Tue Apr 25, 2017 8:19 pm

:banana:
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Exit40 on Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:46 am

Well said Sister. I am happy for you. :angel: ''

God Bless You

David
Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby Jay Ross on Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:03 pm

May the covenantal relationship of the three of you continue to grow in God/Christ such that it will remain forever with you. May this drawing into a closer relationship with God/Jesus continue and bear much fruit.

Shalom
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Re: husband likely moving out

Postby sacredcowbasher on Sun May 07, 2017 2:04 pm

Just did see this update Lisa, and rejoicing in our great God and the wonderful things He does.
Gal 2: 14-19 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews? We who are Jews by nature, and not sinners of the Gentiles, knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law; for by the works of the law no flesh shall be justified. But if, while we seek to be justified by Christ, we ourselves also are found sinners, is Christ therefore a minister of sin? Certainly not! For if I build again those things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor. For I through the law ( the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus ), died to the law ( the law of sin and death ) that I might live to God. Parenthetical remarks added are mine.
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