Jealousy

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Jealousy

Postby st louis steve on Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:32 am

3 Reasons Why Envy Can Cause Bullying - Verywell The bully is measuring herself against another person's talents, reputation or possessions. ... And when feelings of envy and jealousy are allowed to grow, they can lead to bullying. The reason is simple. Envious people want to take something away from the person they are envious of.May 29, 2016



https://www.verywell.com/why-envy-cause ... ing-460521
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Re: Jealousy

Postby st louis steve on Tue Nov 28, 2017 5:34 am

Why do people bully psychology?

It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that they bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. ... Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby Abiding in His Word on Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:43 am

It all comes down to fear. Another possibility of the reason being the bullying attitude is that they bully themselves feels that they have no control in their lives. ... Psychologists used to believe that bullies have low self-esteem, and put down other people to feel better about themselves.


I strongly disagree that low self-esteem or jealousy is the root cause of bullying. I think it's just the opposite; an unhealthy, inflated ego leads to a desire for power and control over others. The origin or root of that inflated ego is another story. But we see power and control played out in various interactions by whites over blacks, stronger over the weaker, the rich over the poor, young over the old, and even males over females.

A sense of entitlement is learned from a variety of sources and will manifest itself in a variety of ways throughout life and is difficult for the bully to forfeit due to the rewards received in terms of compliance by those who are being victimized by the bully.

Acts Superior and Entitled

Bullies talk down to others. They are condescending and rude. You might hear him say your opinions, and the opinions of others, are stupid or do not make sense.

In general, bullies and abusers communicate that you or others are inferior in some way. Simply put, these actions are part of his strategy to maintain power and control over you or others.


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Re: Jealousy

Postby GodsStudent on Tue Nov 28, 2017 8:51 am

Abiding, I always listen when you talk about "social" issues, inparticular abuse, because I know that's your field of expertise....but I just HAVE To disagree that the whites over blacks doesn't also come with blacks over whites, too. We have seen a LOT of evidence of UNREPORTED black abuse of whites over the past two years.....nowadays, Im sorry, but there is a WHOLE LOT of black over white bullying and abuse going on, imo.
Sorry.....I strongly feel this way.
I live in a biracial (black/white) marriage with children and my entire family feels this way.....we've certainly seen this behavior going both ways.
I had to interject my feelings on this matter, only. Thanks.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby Abiding in His Word on Tue Nov 28, 2017 11:36 am

GodsStudent wrote:...but I just HAVE To disagree that the whites over blacks doesn't also come with blacks over whites, too.


Oh, GodsStudent, I agree 100%! I didn't mean for those examples to be exclusive or limited to any person or groups; i.e. gender, age, ethnicity or race. I apologize it it sounded that way. The desire for power and control knows no boundaries. Some women bully other women or men; some men bully other men or women; some children bully each other, racial bullying can be seen between others of a different ethnic persuasion, etc.

The point I was trying to make was that as opposed to a root cause of low self-esteem, I believe it's more of a narcissistic, over-inflated ego that's the cause.

I could be wrong, but that's been what I've observed and experienced.

Thanks for challenging me on that! Always welcome....
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Re: Jealousy

Postby extravagantchristian on Tue Nov 28, 2017 12:44 pm

I think it's referred to as "leveling". If you have low self esteem, you might automatically want to bring others down to your level or even lower so that you appear "higher" than them.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby Jericho on Tue Nov 28, 2017 1:53 pm

There might be several reasons, but sometimes bullies are victims themselves, and they take out their frustrations in negative ways. When I was in school I would get bullied by this kid who was much shorter and smaller than me. I probably could have beat him in a fight, but I was very timid and had low self-confidence myself. But from what I gathered he had tried to run away from home at one point. So I don't know what his home life was like, but it obviously was not good and he was taking his frustrations out on me. He was probably not even aware that is what he was doing. I often wonder how his life turned out and what he is doing today.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby Abiding in His Word on Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:51 pm

When I hear the word "bully" or "bullying" I think more of a physical type of abuse, but there are many ways one can attempt to control another that does not involve a physical method. Generally (I think) a shy, timid, person with low self esteem doesn't have the courage, strength, or fortitude to exert control through a physical effort. But it can be abusive nevertheless; i.e. name-calling, discriminating, embarrassing, humiliating, neglecting, etc. Other measures might include financial control, withholding affection, verbal assaults, gas-lighting, destroying personal possessions, or other passage aggressive behaviors.

It's complicated really, but the average, well-adjusted, trusting, kind human being can unknowingly become the victims of abuse in numerous ways and the effects can be long-lasting and profound.

Where I differ from those "turn-the-other-cheek(ers)" is that allowing any type of abuse to continue, we become complicit in encouraging these types of behaviors rather than confronting them and ending the relationship if need be. Most abuse escalates in frequency and intensity over time in the absence of enforced boundaries.

Many times, when I encountered victims of abuse who were certain it was a one-time event, I suggested they secretly mark a calendar when the abuse occurs and they could see the escalation and frequency for themselves.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby GodsStudent on Wed Nov 29, 2017 8:31 am

Abiding in His Word wrote:
GodsStudent wrote:...but I just HAVE To disagree that the whites over blacks doesn't also come with blacks over whites, too.


Oh, GodsStudent, I agree 100%! I didn't mean for those examples to be exclusive or limited to any person or groups; i.e. gender, age, ethnicity or race. I apologize it it sounded that way. The desire for power and control knows no boundaries. Some women bully other women or men; some men bully other men or women; some children bully each other, racial bullying can be seen between others of a different ethnic persuasion, etc.

The point I was trying to make was that as opposed to a root cause of low self-esteem, I believe it's more of a narcissistic, over-inflated ego that's the cause.

I could be wrong, but that's been what I've observed and experienced.

Thanks for challenging me on that! Always welcome....



Im sort of laughing at myself for getting worked up over this particular point, because any reasonable person would know you were only citing examples.....but I think I am so upset over the black on white bullying these days, that I dont even tolerate seeing the issue of the "reverse" being pointed out....because I probably feel like it's going overboard on the other way now.....I think we should all be pointing that out so that the black community doesn't continue to go unchecked....as in I want to see them checking themselves on this one.
Anyway....of course.....OF COURSE you were just making some references.....lol at myself for NEEDING to point that out.... clearly my family is "in our feelings" over this one.
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Re: Jealousy

Postby Resurrection Torchlight on Fri Dec 01, 2017 7:13 am

A sense of entitlement is learned from a variety of sources and will manifest itself in a variety of ways throughout life and is difficult for the bully to forfeit due to the rewards received in terms of compliance by those who are being victimized by the bully.


My experience with bullying leads me to agree with this observation.

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