I'm pretty sure I understand this vision, and although I'm filled with excitement toward a duty I believe God is placing before me, I have my doubts, but I'm here to discuss my vision, it's interpretation, and what my charge is.
I'm not anybody that stands out of a crowd, in fact I blend right in. I suffer from loneliness, I have very few friends, but the Lord has blessed me with friends that honestly love me, so I'm not here to complain.
I've dabbled with many drugs since I was born again in March of '07, and the road has been twisted at times, but when the Lord does speak, I fear Him, and try to gain understanding so I may practice the life He has placed inside of me.
About two years ago, I had a vision, many people talk about "seeing flying dots" in their vision, and I can share in this odd phenomenon throughout my entire life. I don't always notice the lattice as it appears, but I'm beginning to believe it is some sort of veil that is protecting me from something, a truth that I desire to find sort to speak.
The vision started with my room at 2 am being very dark, and the flying dots around my sight as usual, the dots then changed to a magestic appearance, angels wings could be seen as the dots, and my room changed to a glowing pinkish white color. I could see in one corner of my room, the appearance of a lion at the head of an army, and in the other corner, a snakes head as the leader of an army, both were clashing against each other, and my body shook as I took bashings from the adversary. It was apparent that God and the devil were warring over my soul. Again, I'm not claiming to be any important figure, but the war over my soul was more than evident.
Just then, the dots formed on my right side two large pillars, which appeared as God's legs covered by a white robe, I couldn't look at the feet, or have no recollection of looking at the feet of this being, but I had the realization that this was God's throne, and I was before him , receiving judgment. The dots all came together to form a spiral staircase that seemed to go on forever, and just then I started walking. With each step, I was climbing up this ascending staircase of books, with a new book being opened with every step I took. Instantly, I knew these books were about me, all my thoughts, all my judgments, all my actions, good and bad. After I had taken a few steps, great fear seized over me, as I awaited the last book at the top of the staircase to be opened. I honestly thought I hadn't died, but that I was being judged and going to the depths of the pit. Well I reached the last book, and my fear was very intense, then a small voice inside of me told me not to fear, and that judgment had passed over me. That was the end of the vision.
Now for what I believe by personal conviction to be the interpretation of this vision. This was not a vision at all, I had gone through judgment, as some sort of representative for the church. I believe as a member of the church, I am a forerunner of Christ. Many of my talents and abilities were severely influenced by my ego, which I am now trying to silence. I believe that I may be Joshua, standing before the angel of the Lord, with Satan at my right hand accusing me with my filthy garments. At first I believed this was some sort of special treatment, and I didn't know why it was happening to me, but a small light is telling me this is how the whole church will escape judgment, as a brand plucked from the fire.
You see, no matter how hard we try, we cannot obtain perfection. We are born into a fleshly body, with a spirit, and it is true that these war against each other, I see this conflict all the time, whether it be through fasting, or God revealing to me the inner conflict of sin. I cannot do what I want to do because my flesh is sort of like the leaven that makes me puffed up in pride, yet the grace of God continues to shine down upon me, and lead me toward working out my salvation, not by works, but through servitude and understanding God's Word.
Now let me get to the reason for this post, it's not to gain glory for myself, because that is of nothing, it's to gain understanding, and hear input on what other Godly people have to say and relate to. Please don't make me as your enemy, I come not to steal and destroy, but to understand this walk of life a little better so I can be prepared for the duty and purpose God has called me out of the world to complete. I would appreciate your prayers and concerns for me finding out the truth, because one of my goals is to break out of sinful habitual nature, and be free in God's good grace. Thanks and I hope that you are blessed in this attempt to get to the truth.