Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

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Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby BGCMEC on Mon Jan 22, 2018 4:32 pm

My son (Lutheran) is now engaged. His fiancé is Catholic. Although, not a practicing Catholic. Her parents are saying they need to promise that she will remain catholic and their children are raised Catholic. My son and his fiancé say that they cannot promise that. They (her parents) are very strong on their opinion. They (her parents) also want a priest present at their wedding at the Lutheran church to bless the rings. What does that mean to have the priest present. Why is the Catholic faith so strong in this opinion? My future daughter-in-law doesn't understand why her parents are making this demand. I (his mom) need some help wih some understanding on this. I feel like her parents are trying to control their future and how they make decisions in their life. My son is 29 and his fiancé is 31. What do we tell our son and his future wife without stepping on anyone's toes? My future daughter in law told her mom "You are ruining this for me" and her moms response was in her own words "You are "f---ing" ruining it for ME". That doesn't sound Christian to me. What is going on???
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby shorttribber on Tue Jan 23, 2018 8:02 pm

BGCMEC wrote:My son (Lutheran) is now engaged. His fiancé is Catholic. Although, not a practicing Catholic. Her parents are saying they need to promise that she will remain catholic and their children are raised Catholic. My son and his fiancé say that they cannot promise that. They (her parents) are very strong on their opinion. They (her parents) also want a priest present at their wedding at the Lutheran church to bless the rings. What does that mean to have the priest present. Why is the Catholic faith so strong in this opinion? My future daughter-in-law doesn't understand why her parents are making this demand. I (his mom) need some help wih some understanding on this. I feel like her parents are trying to control their future and how they make decisions in their life. My son is 29 and his fiancé is 31. What do we tell our son and his future wife without stepping on anyone's toes? My future daughter in law told her mom "You are ruining this for me" and her moms response was in her own words "You are "f---ing" ruining it for ME". That doesn't sound Christian to me. What is going on???

What's going on is that the Mother is using "Religion" to Bully her daughter. What your daughter soon to be in Law NEEDS is to Have Faith in Christ on her own, Without interference from her "Supposed" Christian(Catholic) mother.
Your soon to be daughter in law must tell her mother (Stepping on Toes included) that God does not have ANY Grandchildren.
We are EACH Children of God By Our Own Faith, and Not by the Errant Faith of others .

It's as simple as that....and it takes Faith to Speak the Truth in Love....That's what's needed...and toe stepping is Unavoidable.

No ring Kissing Needed...Only God kissing (Worship)That's what's needed.

The Worship of God does not include Bowing to Error.

Will be praying that you are able to share this with your son and your future daughter in law.


Welcome and Blessings,
ST
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby SueAnn on Wed Jan 24, 2018 10:34 pm

This reminds me of a wedding in our family about 10 years ago.

My family is all Protestant. My nephew married a Catholic girl whose family is very devout and extremely involved in church activities. Just before the wedding my nephew announced that he was converting to Catholicism. To say we were disappointed is the understatement of the century.

I missed the wedding because I had pneumonia at the time. But I was home when my sister brought my Mom home from the wedding. They were both LIVID! I was actually glad I had not been there because I don't think I would have been able to remain silent, as they had done.

Picture this...on one side of the church is the bride's family, all Catholics. On the other side of the church is the groom's family, all Protestant.

The bride and groom had elected to include Holy Communion in the ceremony. The priest announced that ONLY Catholics could participate in Holy Communion. As the Protestants sat there stunned at the insult several men came down the aisle and actually stood at the pew openings next to the Protestants, keeping anyone from leaving the pew to go down the aisle to take communion.

At the wedding reception the bride's grandmother took a microphone and instead of just welcoming the groom into her family, she exclaimed her delight that he had chosen to become Catholic, and was no longer a heathen, and raise her great-grandchildren Catholic, too.

We used to attend any family function at their home. If the bride's family was present, they would not mingle. They would not say hello. They were rude and obnoxious. My nephew announced one year that the families were getting too large and so they were going to have separate family functions from now on. We all breathed a sigh of relief. A few years later a situation that had nothing to do with her family caused hubby and I to stop going to their house all together.

I hope your son is strong enough to be the "Man" in the family and put his foot down if he sees her family creating stress with his family. My nephew never did anything.

If blessing the rings is so important, then fine. A few days before the wedding take the rings to the priest and ask him to bless them.

If they choose to have Communion at the ceremony, tell the minister that EVERYONE who wishes to partake will be welcome. If the minister balks, then don't have Communion at all.

Whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder. That goes for the families of the bride and groom, too. Doing things that alienate one side of their family from the other side is "putting asunder" or driving a wedge between the bride and groom.

This is why the bible warns us not to be unequally yoked. God knows how idiotic we can be at times. Because a marriage is sacred, it is Not a relationship with which we want to be idiots.
ﺗﻜﻮﻳﻦ 12
وَقَالَ الرَّبُّ لأَبْرَامَ: «اتْرُكْ أَرْضَكَ وَعَشِيرَتَكَ وَبَيْتَ أَبِيكَ وَاذْهَبْ إِلَى الأَرْضِ الَّتِي أُرِيكَ،
فَأَجْعَلَ مِنْكَ أُمَّةً كَبِيرَةً وَأُبَارِكَكَ وَأُعَظِّمَ اسْمَكَ، وَتَكُونَ بَرَكَةً (لِكَثِيرِينَ).
َأُبَارِكُ مُبَارِكِيكَ وَأَلْعَنُ لاعِنِيكَ، وَتَتَبَارَكُ فِيكَ جَمِيعُ أُمَمِ الأَرْضِ »
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Exit40 on Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:23 am

SueAnn wrote:If they choose to have Communion at the ceremony, tell the minister that EVERYONE who wishes to partake will be welcome. If the minister balks, then don't have Communion at all.


He will balk. I went through this at my best friends funeral. It is very insulting, no other way to put this. I am a heathen in Catholics eyes. I wonder what special knowledge, or whatever, I need to become enlightened. Anyone able to answer that ?

God Bless You

David
Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby shorttribber on Thu Jan 25, 2018 11:44 am

Exit40 wrote: I am a heathen in Catholics eyes. I wonder what special knowledge, or whatever, I need to become enlightened. Anyone able to answer that ?

I can answer that, yes.

You will be enlightened when you finally realize that the Pope is jesus on the earth, in a Silly Looking Pointy Hat! :bag:
The Wisest men have changed their Counsels and Resolves upon second thoughts, much more upon experience, and approaching evils not at first discovered. Rev. Herbert Croft, 1675

Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Find seven years of tribulation plainly stated in the Bible.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Abiding in His Word on Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:35 pm

Hello BGCMEC,

While the system of authority within the Catholic church is unscriptural, but unfortunately the very same unscriptural hierarchical structure exists within Protestant churches with bishops/elders/deacons/pastors, etc. with a system of rules, regulations, membership covenants, and contracts which can have legal ramifications to the member who is unaware it is a legal document. This system of governance is designed with the express purpose of maintaining power, control, and influence many times that impinges into the social and even familial behavior of the members. It is often justified as scriptural without giving heed to the words of Jesus about the Pharisees who exerted control over others and keep them in bondage to a long list of "thou shalts and shalt nots." Jesus warned us it should not be so with us. We are a priesthood of believers who respect and adhere to the principle of one-anothering in scripture with mutual, caring, empathetic behavior toward one another regardless of one's age, gender, ethnicity, or status.

I'm so sorry for the situation you've described... :(

It may be of some comfort to you to know that your situation is shared by many others and this article may help in you and your family in understanding how to discern the type of church that's best for future spiritual health.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Jericho on Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:25 pm

Why is the Catholic faith so strong in this opinion?


It's less about faith and more about tradition and ritual. It is religion in the truest sense, from the Latin word "religare" which means "to bind". I don't think there is an easy solution. Your son and future daughter-in-law will just have to put their foot down, even if it means stepping on toes. It's their wedding, not her parent's wedding.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby burien1 on Thu Jan 25, 2018 7:42 pm

Jericho wrote:
Why is the Catholic faith so strong in this opinion?


It's less about faith and more about tradition and ritual. It is religion in the truest sense, from the Latin word "religare" which means "to bind". I don't think there is an easy solution. Your son and future daughter-in-law will just have to put their foot down, even if it means stepping on toes. It's their wedding, not her parent's wedding.


I agree.

At 29 and 31 years of age, they should be able to make their own decisions and intentions clear.
Psalm 119:105; Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby SueAnn on Fri Jan 26, 2018 11:50 am

Jericho wrote:
Why is the Catholic faith so strong in this opinion?


Your son and future daughter-in-law will just have to put their foot down, even if it means stepping on toes. It's their wedding, not her parent's wedding.


That's not 100% true if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding. If the bride's parents pull the $$ trump card it may be better for the bride and groom to pay for the wedding themselves, even if it means have a less expensive affair.
ﺗﻜﻮﻳﻦ 12
وَقَالَ الرَّبُّ لأَبْرَامَ: «اتْرُكْ أَرْضَكَ وَعَشِيرَتَكَ وَبَيْتَ أَبِيكَ وَاذْهَبْ إِلَى الأَرْضِ الَّتِي أُرِيكَ،
فَأَجْعَلَ مِنْكَ أُمَّةً كَبِيرَةً وَأُبَارِكَكَ وَأُعَظِّمَ اسْمَكَ، وَتَكُونَ بَرَكَةً (لِكَثِيرِينَ).
َأُبَارِكُ مُبَارِكِيكَ وَأَلْعَنُ لاعِنِيكَ، وَتَتَبَارَكُ فِيكَ جَمِيعُ أُمَمِ الأَرْضِ »
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Abiding in His Word on Fri Jan 26, 2018 1:05 pm

Has anyone considered eliminating all these rules, regulations, rituals and traditions by getting married in a civil ceremony by a justice of the peace? After all, scripture records couples marrying for the most part without all this pomp & circumstance we have today that is very costly. Granted not every couple would choose this method, but it is an option and provides a legal document to prove the marriage took place and would eliminate a lot of stress as well.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Jericho on Fri Jan 26, 2018 4:57 pm

SueAnn wrote:That's not 100% true if the bride's parents are paying for the wedding.


True SueAnn, that would complicate things and you offered the perfect solution for that.

Abiding in His Word wrote:Has anyone considered eliminating all these rules, regulations, rituals and traditions by getting married in a civil ceremony by a justice of the peace?


I would be for that. Do you know that the whole idea of diamond engagement rings began as a clever marketing campaign in the 1930s? Now it has become the required norm. Getting married shouldn't be so complicated... or expensive.
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Re: Catholic vs Lutheran Wedding

Postby Abiding in His Word on Fri Jan 26, 2018 5:24 pm

Jericho wrote:I would be for that. Do you know that the whole idea of diamond engagement rings began as a clever marketing campaign in the 1930s? Now it has become the required norm.


When my fiance wanted to buy me a diamond ring, I graciously refused the offer. I felt there were many more future expenses and that money would be put to better use. Not saying everyone should feel that way, but I did and he respected my thoughts and I appreciated that. So I agree that many of the "required norms" are nothing more than marketing tools that put pressure to conform on all parties involved and cause stress.

Somebody will undoubtedly call me a feminist when I say this, :roll: but one of the "traditions" that I've never understood is that of having the woman's father "give her away." It makes much more sense for both parents to walk the bride down the aisle and then the grooms parents walk him down the aisle where they will meet to form a new family. How much more beautiful and meaningful would that be? :grin:

Getting married shouldn't be so complicated... or expensive.


I agree, Jericho. I've said it several times before on the board (I think) but we've done to marriage what the Pharisees did to the Sabbath imo. It's become burdensome when it was meant to be just the opposite.
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